


Once Upon A Time An Umbrella

by orphan_account



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst and Humor, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer, autumn, winter and spring. A Yato girl, her umbrella and a gaki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Gintama belongs to Hideaki Sorachi
> 
> I'm very grateful to Pure Red Crane, who's faster than light and patiently proofreads and corrects this fanfic. The remaining mistakes are on me.

**Summer stories, Part One**

* * *

It was raining cicadas.

Or rather, they buzzed too close to her ear, the right one, the one exposed to their relentless attacks. The left, protected in her palm, didn't care. It was too hot to do anything else, but she still couldn't find sleep. The red umbrella planted near her knee made her inaccessible to the world, its shade covering the delicate and fragile skin, fortunately. No thank you, no way she'll roast like old Housen...

The earth and sun, her paradise and hell.

Slap! A mosquito just died between her other palm and her neck...  _Bloody insects-aru!_

Footsteps, someone was approaching. She listened cautiously, it wasn't Megane or he would've already lectured her three times by now and not Gin-chan either, what would he do here at such an hour? Way too soon, she could feel the morning dew on her clothes. Madao then? She exhaled a pitiful sigh, remembering there  _were_  days when he was richer than her, and  _that_  said something about that poor sorry excuse of a job she had.  _Useless child, you damn silver trash!_  But internal rambling... shoo... shoo... and Madao smokes. It couldn't be him or Mayora, although smelly baka nicotine freak would be just that kind of bastard, coming here to try driving her off like the cockroach she's NOT.

_Like hell, I'm the Queen here!_

She threw a glance, boots and navy blue pants.  _Shit!_  She sighed exasperatedly while her precious umbrella moved slightly, revealing a face... No, a smug grin and familiar too, but not in a good way. She waited for the unbearable voice to kick in... Nothing. Finally she deigned to look properly, in fact there wasn't much choice, he was here in all his disgusting splendor. The asshole gaki.

Her brow furrowed, "You want my picture?"

"I'd rather die."

And his grin grew increasingly,  _Grrr..._ "So fuck off!"

But there he stayed, planted before her, his crimson eyes seemed to laugh, "I see... Danna finally got expelled?" He patted on the back of the umbrella absently; her poor umbrella that now needed disinfection. "There's a homeless shelter not so far from here you know... for lost dogs. Although... I'm not sure if they take in pork products as well. "

"Bastard piece of trash!"

With a sudden movement she pulled the umbrella to her, ready to kill, and... the sun dazzled her. And did more, she felt it. Burning. She grunted and put it back in place, so much for the massacre, another day perhaps. She had to take care of her skin and there was no way she'll catch blisters because of him. Standing up, clutching her protector well and firmly, she tapped on her back with her hand, there were also leaves everywhere caught in her hair, but never mind.

And she did everything possible to ignore the nuisance.

"SADAHARU!"

Casting her eyes around, she scanned towards the playground. Nothing. Then near the pond and... Poor thing! Probably suffocating under the thick fluffy fur, he had immersed his big head under water and scared off bystanders.

PLOP. A bubble gum burst on his lips and he was  _still_   fixating her,  _still_   amused, "You can ignore me all you want China, you're still gonna get fined. Didn't you see the sign at the entrance? No loitering."

"It's a public park, poop-head!"

He stared blankly and kept chewing on. An idea popped into her mind... a sublime idea and she spat on his boots, "Oops!"

A big, abominable gob! She giggled while his head slowly... very, very slowly tilted down and stared at the spot of saliva; glowing, even reflecting the sunlight and... Oh, there was even splashing on the beautiful tax robber shitty uniform. That was when she couldn't hold it in anymore and slapped a hand against her mouth, but he still heard her frantic laughter.

He raised his head, much faster this time, his stupid face was blank. The gaki always looked like that, bored. He sighed and scrutinized her as if she was dirt, "Chinaaa..." He took the handcuffs, "...you're under arrest."

Picking her nose and twirling the handle she retorted, "I'd rather die."

Click. She stepped back, he did the same. Blue against red; umbrella against katana; girl against b-...man.

She was hungry, but it could wait. Gin-chan wanted his milk and  _needed_  toilet paper, but it could wait even more. And Megane will berate her, but she didn't care. The only problem was... the damn sun. She stole a quick glance, no clouds and there probably won't be for the whole day.  _Shit, shit, sh-_

"Let's go find shelter... or we're gonna be here until evening."

She threw him a dark glare, filled with surprise and suspicion and her grip tightened around her precious weapon, "What's the catch?"

His crimson eyes narrowed slightly, it was rare, usually he didn't give a shit about her comfort, "I want to kick your ass fair and square and can't stand your pre-period whining."

 _Grrr... That shithead!_   "If you think you can order me around you're even more stupid than I thought!"

He didn't care and started walking towards the large trees not far from the fountain, and while doing so his arm slightly brushed her sleeve. She froze for a second. The asshole did that a lot lately and she wasn't a thirteen years old baka anymore, she did get the drift. And now, kicking ass wasn't an option... she  _will_  break a bone or two today. But he still didn't care and walked, confident, on guard... and so maddeningly calm, "Hurry up, I'm busy."

"Bakufu dog."

The ultimate insult. The tax robbers might not look like they give a shit, but she knew, Gin-chan too, that  _that_  stung. But she followed all the same, not because he ordered it, but for the simple and excellent reason that his bishounen head had already been attached for too many years on those arrogant shoulders. And Edo, no... the whole earth, no... the universe would be better off if this guy was cut in half. And also,  _she_  will feel better, because it meant there was no way she'd loose today.

And she won.


	2. Lonely Man

**Summer Stories, Part Two**

* * *

There were some strange things in the existence of a man. Winning at pachinko and losing everything the next day. Finding a job and losing it the next day. Getting drunk one night with Gin-san and finishing in a kennel the next day...

The life of a MADAO.

There were also strange connections; like between sunglasses and an umbrella. Both offered protection against the sun...and life. It's a cover, a shelter.

Because before becoming a MADAO, the man was above all a sunglasses man. And behind the umbrella there was a girl, the one who had sealed his fate by giving him a cursed name. This was why he felt this connection, it might be superficial, but the man knew it wasn't.

For a few weeks, he observed. Since the beginning of the summer, they fought...out of sight, under the leaves. Nothing new in fact, it had been some years now that they were doing this and if the sunglasses man was often left dismayed when the two tornadoes destroyed the park a good hundred times, he got used to them and the destroyed area. But now they were more grown up and total destruction of public property had lost its charm, thus they focused on their mutual annihilation.

This was routine.

Until one day, when he saw something in the eyes of that young man, something the girl didn't see or pretended not to. Her back was facing him at that time, she's calling her monster dog, and they just finished their fight. It was only a flash in the eyes, a fleeting moment...an almost predatory look and yet soft at the same time. But it was gone as soon as she turned to glare at him, throwing an insult probably. And the sunglasses man recognized that look...because he knew what it's like to be twenty.

A few days later, after pachinko and while drinking with the silver ronin, it escaped him...

"Ah...yes, the park...every day..."

MADAO knew that nothing ever happened other than the clashes between umbrella and katana...and yet it escaped his lips. Gin-san seemed to not care...and moved on.

But the following week, the boy in uniform didn't come. And she waited. Sitting on a bench, the sun killing everything all around her, burning grass and bushes, she was waiting under the shade of an umbrella. Her white monster was playing not so far away, carefree, busy catching imaginary fishes in the fountain and scaring children, Sadaharu came from time to time to be petted, and then searching again for other adventures at the far end of the park. She waited.

He did not come, he will not come anymore.

That day she waited all afternoon, the sunglasses man knew because he had time to take a long nap, go do his part-time job, win at pachinko and return to the park in the evening, finally able to drink a nice cold beer.

The next day she came back, but didn't sit on the bench, she played with her dog, ate an ice cream...and left. He knew that they continued to fight, but not as often and never here. Never alone, out of sight, and sheltered under the trees.

Everything was as before, sometimes she bothered him with her brazen comments, "MADAO failed his interview again...MADAO's still lagging here with nothing to do...MADAO lost at pachinko again..."

It didn't bother him, he was used to it.

A few weeks passed, and at a new drunken evening with Gin-san he asked, without much conviction, but still curious and the silver ronin was still as usual, with his nonchalant self and dead fish eyes; he replied noncommittally.

"Kagura is not a girl of half-assed feelings..."

MADAO asked also if the boy was that kind. Gin-chan shrugged, "I don't know...I haven't even had time to say anything... _'Dannaaa...I get it. And I need my balls...so stop threatening 'em with that wooden thing! And...don't worry, I_ really _get it...'_ "

The sunglasses man didn't know what to say and simply gave the other a smile, "Boys will be boys…" And anyway, Gin-san seemed to not care again, even if it wasn't true...Gin-san was a 'father'.

Maybe the sunglasses man felt sorry having interfered, perhaps the girl with the umbrella should have burnt her wings at the boy's contact, if not her skin. Maybe that's what was supposed to happen. But nothing couldn't prevent the reflexes of a MADAO or a Gin-san or a Megane and especially not a Papi lost in space.

Being father.

That day, Hasegawa-san shed a small tear, because the girl with the umbrella reminded him the child he never had with the woman he had lost.

 


	3. Reflexion

  **Summer Stories, Part Three**

* * *

He twirled the thin stick between his fingers, bored and...preoccupied. "I'm dying of heat here, wasn't yours repaired?"

"No and they're all broken, so leave...And what're you doing here in the first place? Don't you have stuff to do?"

"Except for pissing you off. No."

An annoyed snort and a grunt...whatever. Hijikata also sighed of irritation, heat or fatigue and went on with his silly scribbling.  _All_  the air conditioners from  _all_  rooms across the barracks were down...and this was the last straw. Finding himself in this room with Mayo freak, playing with that stupid thing.

He waited, casting quick glances at the other until Fukuchou finally took the cup in his hand...and drank its content. _Now..._

"Did you ever get laid with someone you liked?"

Sure enough, the giant spit was gigantic. Raining on official papers, 'important' as they say, reports and other nonsense, even a special one from the old geezer...all ruined by tea and Mayora's disgusting saliva. And that was just worth it, having waited all those minutes here, and now he was busy wiping, swearing and flapping. Hijikata-san was so predictable.

"You did that on purpose, right? You little shit."

"You know me."

And Hijitaka didn't respond, as expected, but Sougo didn't care anyway, he knew the answer. No, and probably never will. Fukuchou will die faithful to his feelings, as the baka samurai he was with his baka principles. That didn't stop him from being an asshole with her though and doing others shit he wasn't proud of. He was far from being a virgin, like everyone here except of course Yamazaki and Kondo-san wasn't lucky in that area either, but over the past few years, Hijikata had become a total celibate freak and surprisingly less...detestable. Maybe it was what they call growing up and al-

_("Oi!" -*Sigh* "What now Sou-kun?" - "What d'you think you're doing?" - "Huh, writing?" - "No, that other fucked up crap...the aniki-friendly conversation that's bound to happen with that bastard" - "Well...yes, but...what's the problem?" - "After all the dirty things you wrote about us...and now that? Character assassination much?...Neh, that requires punishment" *lashing whip* - "You're so moody...that time of the month Okita-kun? And get with the program gaki, you're both straight in this stor- *BEEPBEEEEEEP... KABOOM!*...)_

"We aren't having this conversation..."

"Of course we are."

"Just...just go ask Kondo-san if you want...a-advises..." Sougo threw him a quizzical look. Mayora was distressed obviously, "...Argh...Harada...Harada is married!" and blushing. Seriously, a grown man?

"Hijikata-saaan...what did you smoke? I don't want advises."

But he wasn't listening, "...Yorozuya, yeah, yeah... ask him..." still sponging and pissed now.

_Ask Danna...that's just the greatest idea ever_. Okita snorted, glaring one last time at Fukuchou, and laid on his back and twirling and thinking some more.

"Just forget it..." And Hijikata said nothing for a while.

_Just. Forget. It..._ Where did he pick up that thing anyway?

Hijikata-san had made a choice long time ago and stuck with it, for the better and the worse. Kondo-san was  _willing_  and  _able_  to marry, for the better and the she-gorilla. So where did he fit into that?

Him, the hitokiri of the Shinsengumi, although nobody said it aloud.

"No." He was snapped off dreamland and looked aside, the bastard still had his head bent over the mess in front of him, trying to save what could be. It was surprising that Hijikata replied at all and even more when he asked, "You?"

_Well..._

"No..." Sougo turned his attention to the stupid toy again, "...not yet. Probably never," and he got up suddenly, taking his katana.

_There's no point...Just forget it._

Hijikata didn't look and didn't see, but he took the opportunity to quietly leave the object on the table. There was no point in keeping this any longer, but Okita couldn't throw it away...that's why he left it here, Fukuchou was a bastard addict freak, but could also be useful at cleaning messes. His and others.

And he had only reached the end of the engawa before said mister-clean yelled, rather noisily, "WHAT D'YOU PUT IN THAT TEA?...OI OKITA...COME BACK HERE..."

He slapped a palm on his forehead, shaking his head in disbelief,  _Baka me...of course the laxative_.

Late, very late that evening Okita returned from patrol, his mind still restless, but now he was able to sleep. There was a strange gathering around the toilet door with a supremely concerned and crying Kondo-san, "What? You mean we've been invaded by the bacteria again? Toshi is stuck in it...that's it...right, right?"

"No, I reckon he's trying to pass the time."

"How?"

"He thinks he's Nausicaä...nobody dares to enter since this morning."

"Is that true? TOSHI...HANG IN HERE!"

A moron added airily, "Fukuchou  _is_  Nausicaä..."

But a roar erupted from the darkness of the Toxic Jungle, "JUST BRING ME THE DAMN KAMI (PAPER)...MORONS!"

Sougo slapped a palm on his forehead, smiling widely,  _Baka me...of course I hid them earlier, all of them_. "Well, I'm off," and waving a hand absently, he set his eyes on Mayora's room...

"OKITAAA, YOU BASTAAARD...PREPARE FOR YOUR SEPPUKU...! WITH A WOODEN KNIFE...! I SWEAR ON EVERY KAMI (GODS) OF THE UNIVERSE...D'YOU HEAR ME YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!"

But Sougo wasn't there anymore, nor listening either.

"Kyokuchou...Nausicaä wouldn't curse that much."

The desk was still untouched, as messy as when he left it, with papers now dried and the old geezer 'special request' and the files about Katsura and...it was there too.

A stupid cocktail umbrella. A red umbrella.

He stared blankly, for a long, long time, hands shoved in his pockets. Although not superstitious, he still coudn't bring himself to take the item...an item because he had made a mark on it yesterday, with dark ink. A simple dot.

"Hijikata-san, that's your fault...you were supposed to clean my messy head..."

When the Oni no Fukuchou finally came back in his quarter later that night, he'd hardly have the energy to be angry anymore. His desk was a mess, the air conditioner was down, Gorilla was a moron and he needed a bath. He didn't notice the absence of that strange object that in his absence had looked over his precious papers and protected them from wind and insects and Shinsengumi morons.

A stupid red umbrella.

 


	4. Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyōgen: Comic theater play with slapstick parts.

  **Summer Stories, Part Four**

* * *

"You're slacking again."

"I am. So shoot me."

"Pfft…"

Turning on her heels she left him behind.

She had an ice cream to eat and Sadaharu to check on. Gin-chan had given him rotten kibbles this morning, picking the wrong box because his vision was blurred from a massive hangover. Of course a monumental argument had followed with the violently shutting and opening slid doors, shouts and all. It was worse than a very bad Kyōgen. When she had left with yet another insult, Megane was throwing the object of the crime in the garbage and still yelling after Gin-chan, although it was kind of useless because that silver trash bum was pretty much back to coma after the black eye she had offered as a departure gift. And now Sadarahu was sick, his fluffy face all green, and pooping all over the park. Fortunately there weren't many people yet, even for a Saturday.

And the gaki was here too, as if coming on purpose just to piss her off at the worst time. Why was he here anyway? It'd been weeks since he had showed his shitty face. In  _her_  park.

"It's the last day of summer."

She turned to shoot him a dark look filled with disdain, a specialty of hers, "If you're looking for a new job, weather boy is perfect for you. Congratulations. Now get lost...you're polluting the atmosphere-aru."

"You're always so poetic, Chinaaa. Where did you learn that? Sewer or dump?"

"Go to hell!"

But there was no way and he followed her like the dog he was and it irritated the hell of her for many reasons and even more if she ever deigned to look deeper into her mind.

"It's a tie...we need a winner."

She paused, her hand gripping the handle. He lied and he knew it; the score was 12-9. She was winning; she had won anyway, even if they'll fight today. But again he didn't care and she watched him heading to the trees...to  _their_ place.

_Bastard gaki._

**_o-o-o_ **

His shoelace was undone and he crouched to tie it, taking his sweet time. Mind games, surely. She leaned against her tree and planted her umbrella beside her. He didn't move after that, still crouched, and also leaned back on his tree. And now she waited.

They'd been waiting for kami-sama knew how long. She sighed...no effect; he was absorbed by something on the grass, maybe some oak nut, funny because that was a camphor tree...She looked around... _Oi...Pedoro-aru? Totoro-aru?_

The minutes passed and she wondered what he was thinking and what she was doing...and it was getting weird and tense. Why did he stay so quiet and why didn't she say anything either? Standing there like a baka weak-minded girl, nails scraping the rough bark, looking everywhere but a fixed point. There was a slight breeze that makes the leaves move, an appeasing sound and that helped, she talked finally.

"If you're constipated we can postpone...I also want to kick your ass fair and square."

Eyes rolling, but just hardly, and nothing else. A wall. And her irritation grew and grew and... _That's it!_  Too much OOCness for her, she wanted to throw in the towel...But  _no,_  there was no way, she never did that. Fine, let's give it another five minutes and then she'll leave, victorious no matter what. But he was still lost in his thoughts or contemplating that stupid nut and she decided to observe. While doing so it became clear that there was nothing surprising as to why she had followed him. There was  _something_...for quite some time now and even if she tried her best to push those thoughts in the depths of her skull, it was here. Just before her eyes, the great unknown.

Attraction.

And it was eating her that it had to be him, the sadistic tax robber that was so full of himself, of all people, that could render her speechless just like that. She could've ended that nonsense after he had stopped coming here, but no. She peeked discretely, his face became more masculine over the four years she had known him, no doubt about that, and if his body hadn't really changed, it was much more defined now. She was used to living around men, always had, and not much surprised or impressed her anymore. But him...he was a contradiction. A self-proclaimed and proud to be sadist, who controled by whipping and chaining his masochistic conquests, treated them like sub-shits, and at the same time a guy willing to smear his reputation and sacrifice his life for a girl ready to kill him for revenge.

_Oi...What the hell am I thinking-aru...? Shoo...shoo. He's an asshole, period._

With nice hands and those eyes... _Stop!_  Quickly she looked away, but too late, he caught her stare and...that was it.

Her heart skipped a beat, and then restarted faster...

 _This is happening_.

He stood and looked pissed, and she should just punch him right now. He approached and her fingers were scratching the tree, her palms moist, her cheeks colored and soon it was all red, red, red...red eyes on her like never before. He paused for one instant and she could tell that he wasn't pissed. He was...

Conflicted.

And leaned slowly, but stopped again before being to close, eyes agitated, as if deciding whether or not he would do it. At that distance she saw everything; a tiny scar on the left cheek, near the jaw. It was a sword scar. The irises that were a blend of crimson and brown, and here under the shade of the camphor tree they were also dark, almost black. And how some locks of hair were caught in his eyelashes when he blinked, like just...now... _This is happening._ And that stupid heart that raced...

Another wave passed through the leaves far above them and that singing sound called her, a reflex, she looked up. And it happened.

Eyes closed. It wasn't her first kiss, one of the boys she met in Kabukicho had done it with her, but when he tried to push his tongue inside her precious mouth he had ended up at the hospital. And no other boys had dared to ask her out since then. Gin-chan sported a stupid satisfied smile that day.  _Baka_. And she had been reduced to train with the back of her hand which was just pitiful. But now...she won't beat the crap out of him, not yet. And he did it, the tongue thing and she let him.

She didn't like it. She  _thought_  she didn't like it.

But there were other details, like how they didn't touch except  _there,_  but it seemed as if they were because his warmth was so intense it was all around her. She didn't like the saliva exchange, but he had laid his hand near her ear, resting on the bark and the sleeve tickled her hair, she could hear his fingers also scratching lightly the rough surface. Same as her, with hands still behind her back.

And now slowly, but surely, it burned. From tip to toes and where she never thought it would, because some parts were just supposed to be only useful for other things, like bodily functions...right? And the feeling was sinking in, enthralling and she realized she liked everything about it...

And he stopped. And why? They're in the middle of an experiment here! What kind of coward was he to stop now!? But her thoughts went numb the second she saw those eyes again because they were tempestuous. Very so. Steady also, like when he was fighting...and again that strange contradiction.

"Well...that didn't solve anything..." His voice was also different from usual, but impossible at this moment to tell  _what_  was changed.

 _Of course not, 12-10..._  "Ippon...asshole. I won, you lost."

There was a flicker of surprise and then that smug grin appeared again, "You got that right...I am an asshole...and I lost."

But she wasn't listening, occupied staring elsewhere, at those lips and he got it and they kissed again. This time he came closer and his other palm was burning against her side, just near her breast.  _If that hand moves, I'll maim him_. But it didn't and her own moved slowly to rest between the shoulder and the neck, where she could feel the fabric of the uniform and his skin too, brushing it with the tip of the fingers.

Still burning and more hectic, her mind was getting lost too...but that was when she or he bumped into her umbrella and it fell on the ground. That soft sound also called her and her wits came back. She pulled back and guessed it without knowing, just looking at him was enough, and it couldn't be anything else...those crimson eyes and what they lust for. He had told her once that they weren't dogs, but wolves...and now she could feel it, although shouldn't, had no reason to, she was a Yato and stronger than him. They both knew this, and yet she felt it...

Fear.

Another reflex, her hand lightly pushed his chest, it was warm there too, and it worked. He stepped back shutting his eyelids and when the crimson irises looked at her a second after it was all gone. A wall again. And smugness everywhere, but she couldn't help staring like he was another man...Until...

CLICK.

She froze and tilted her head down to see the handcuffs.

"I told you...no loitering."

"GRRRR..."

That late morning, Kabukicho public properties received the divine retribution they had escaped for too long. Sadaharu, although still greenish, mourned his fountain, children mourned their playground and MADAO his bench. Total destruction and mutual annihilation indeed. And this time the sunglasses man will keep it for himself, because there was no point. Boys will be boys and bottomless stomach freaks will break bones. And anyway, that young man was no sun, she might get burned, absolutely will, but it won't kill her. That's what first loves do most of the time; give you scars, pains and other things, precious ones. But they don't destroy you...

They make you stronger.

_End of Summer Stories_


	5. Breaking

  **Autumn Stories, Part One**

* * *

Stolen kisses...

"Sadistic dog shit bastard!"

...That's what they'd been doing since that fateful summer day...

"Illegal freak piece of trash."

...Not much talking. No planning at all, only when they met occasionally, often by chance and never in that park. They had been banned after the  _incident_.

She spat her sukonbu on the dirt, "I'm not illegal anymore! Primitive tax robber."

A light smirk curved his lips, lips she shouldn't be glancing at now...people were here, Megane was here. People everywhere, busy all over Kabukichō most crowed street  _ever_...Did she mention it was full of people? "Colorful choice of words...coming from a barbarian."

_Don't look at me like that, asshole._

"Are you two done yet?" She could almost hear Shinpachi's eyes rolling and he didn't even bother to be preachy anymore; busy carefully choosing vegetables like the good housewife he was, not paying them more attention than necessary, in his opinion. Thankfully.

Because the gaki kept staring with his piercing red orbs and maybe that was the reason she was annoyed. Red was her favorite color. She felt her cheeks pink up, this was the part she hadn't expected, how it affected her, how she had relived that first kiss over and over again during that sleepless night. It wasn't that important, but it happened nonetheless. The whole week in fact, not sleeping well and that stupid imagination going wild. This 'thing' wasn't expected and highly repellent, no...unacceptable. Shameful.

And it couldn't be simple, could it? She didn't know how that whole teenage hormones thing works entirely, but no need for a diploma to figure it out and it was tiresome how she was slowly going demented with all that thinking. _Experiment my *BEEP*!_ She felt something she had never felt before; whether it was a good or bad sensation, she didn't know. And that it irritated her too. Because this guy was like a cyclone, you couldn't help but look, you were drawn to it, even knowing it was a bad idea and that getting to close will crush you. And yet that asshole was also so...so...soothing, in a way. When she was in his arms.

_He doesn't even like me._

"Oi Megane...Mommy wants to go home."

It was enough, swirling on herself she watched her human brother paying the bill. Gin-chan won at pachinko yesterday and thanks to Shinpachi's bullying they'd be able to eat nice meals for the rest of the week, avoiding Anego's cooking in the process.

"Kagura-chan, d'you realize how ridiculous it sounds for a sixteen year old to speak like th-"

"Seventeen."

He glanced at her, unimpressed, "Sixteen."

"Two months left...I'm seventeen at heart."  _Shinpachi doesn't understand a woman's mind._

He sighed, struggling with the bags. He had made sure every yen had been spent for a useful purpose and, no, sukonbu wasn't included. "Whatever...Oi, could you help here a bit, please?" She won't.  _Shinpachi doesn't understand a Yato's stomach._

"Seventeen...?"

She peeked over her shoulder, still here leaning lazily against a post, arms crossed, with questioning eyes.

"Got a problem with that?"

"Me? No..."

Why was he here anyway? Ah! Mayora and his disgusting addiction. How much time did he need to buy that thing? She glanced angrily in his direction and apparently he and Gin-chan were jousting before the cashier over who was first. People were already leaving the store, now that her silver ward was dangerously waving his Jump at the other's face. Typical.

"Hurry up, Megane!"

She left, walking fast, because there was no sun and no reason to open her umbrella to shield herself from an unwanted stare, a crimson, complex stare. Not seeing that shitty face was almost vital at this point.

"Oi...OI! KAGURA-CHAN...Help me...DAMMIT!"

She had to end this silliness.

_I don't even like him._

**_o-o-o_ **

"I have had enough of your microbes in me to get sick for a year."

When Megane finally caught up with her, panting and sweating and lecturing, Kagura had already made up her mind. And she abandoned him here in the middle of the street while he was shouting empty threats... _She_ , deprived of sukonbu for two days? Like hell that would happen!

The gaki hadn't look surprised when she walked decidedly to him. Maybe he was waiting for her to come back? Kagura's stomach suddenly twinged for no reason...No reason at all.

"I don't recall you being that bothered during the microbes...exchange."

She tapped her umbrella distractedly on the ground, "I think I got a heatstroke that day."

"And the other days?"

"Sunstroke."

He shrugged, unmoved, "All right, your call."

_So that's it? A shrug?_  Mayora and Gin-chan were yelling at each other again, Jump and cigarettes in shreds on the counter. Gin-chan was such a man-child. She sighed; something  _was_  bothering her, that was true, even if they were both calm and civilized, and not punching or insulting.

What bothered her was that she was avoiding eye contact and he wasn't.

She needed to fill the blanks invading her mind quickly, "I guess that's just something that was bound to happen...I mean...between a guy and a girl...giving all the fighting and stuff..."

His voice was clearly sharper than usual underneath the unbearable nonchalance, "And  _what_  exactly happened?"

But she didn't want to think about that. "Curiosity..."

She finally dared a glance. The wall again, unreadable. "...Well...guess I'll see ya around then. Time for my re-runs."

He left.

"What about your job lazy slacker?"

And he didn't answer nor looked back, hands in his pockets. Apparently the pitiful display in the store had gotten on his nerve too, only one second there and the sadist smashed the two empty heads together...aaand...flesh contact, no...lip contact. Ouch! Poor Gin-chan, now he was puking his parfait and baka Mayora was...wow, how much more heinous can you look? And shocked too. But the gaki had already left, like a cat, unseen. And nicotine freak ran after his shadow, "YOU'RE DEAD...! NOW I'LL CATCH DIABETES...OR WORSE...SOUGO!"

That went well; more than well...actually it went incredibly well, satisfactorily satisfying, right? And she'll be able to torture Gin-chan endlessly after that...Perfect...

_Stupid gaki._


	6. Definition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yojimbo: bodyguard  
> Bushi: warrior  
> Odango: Hairstyle with double buns

  **Autumn Stories, Part Two**

* * *

_Harassment: The act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group, including threats and demands._

"Gin-san, get up! It's noon!"

"GIN-CHAAAN! MOMMY'S HUNGRYYY!"

"Gintoki! You still owe me this month's rent...and last month's too...don't you have any self-respect? Even last year's rent..." She exhaled her umpteenth smoky fog in his direction, "Besides, Tama is doing a better job than you as yojimbo. You've got serious concurrence..."

"Gin-san...when are you going to pay a decent salary to your employees? You  _know_  I'm the leader of the KCHLU (Kabukicho Cabaret Hostesses Labor Union) and...Oh! I've also been re-elected as a Deva, in fact I'm the Queen of Kabukichō...Just so you know, Shin-chan may worship you, but I don't."

"Gin-san! Take me...whip me...hit me! I know you love it too...We're a match made in SM heaven..."

"ZURA JA NAI, KATSURA DA! Gintoki, there's a path that a bushi should never take...laziness. How long are you going to indulge in that nonconstructive low life of yours?"

That's when he thought this day couldn't get any worse.

 

He was wrong.

_Police misconduct: Inappropriate actions taken by police officers in connection with their official duties that can lead to a miscarriage of justice and sometimes involves discrimination._

"What's that?"

"A restraining order."

He eyed the other suspiciously, then the paper, then the crow again. If a single glare could transform you into ice, then those arctic blue orbs would do the job just fine.

"Mah...finally got the hint I don't want to see your face anymore, Mayora...Good. As they say better later than nev-" The paper was suddenly pressed on his rib cage.

"It's a restraining order against YOU...don't go NEAR. ME. EVER. AGAIN...you damn perm head!"

And Hijikata punctuated each word with a shove, but the paper only remained on Gintoki's chest a second, then fell on the wet ground. There was no way he would ever take Shinsengumi's trash in his mighty hands. "That's my line...! YOU molested Gin-san's sugar-lips with that...that...Oh no! I'm sick again."

"DON'T THROW UP ON MY SHOES BASTARD!" The tax robber stepped back quickly, "D'ya know how many blood tests I went through? If mononucleosis comes back positive I'll strangle ya!"

"Oi, oi, oi...d'ya know how many toothpaste tubes I used? My gums are still bleeding!"

"Tch! As if I give a shit!" And he really didn't, apparently, turning on his heels and leaving to bully other citizens, "And one more thing...keep China girl away from that park, I already told her that she and that monster dog were banned...or she'll get one too!"

_Banned? Park?_

"What?! Why? Oi bastard Mayora...COME BACK...HIJIKATA-KUN...WHAT HAPPENED...? WHAT DID SHE DO...? HOW MUCH IT'LL COST? OIIII!"

 

_Misunderstanding: A failure to understand or interpret correctly._

"Shinpachi...why didn't you tell me?"

"She told you!"

"When?"

"She told me she told you."

"So you don't even know IF she told me?"

"She said she told you and you nodded and stayed quiet and nothing else..."

"Megane...she didn't tell me because I didn't HEAR it!"

"That's your fault."

"I WAS NAPPING!"

"Probably."

"That's all you have to say? We're in a critically bad situation here and you, the straight character, don't give a shit!"

"What you're talking about, Gin-san? There's nothing critically bad happening here except you throwing a fit for nothing."

"SHE LIED!"

"SHE DIDN'T! YOU WEREN'T LISTENING!"

"Argh...Megane...Those bastards are gonna send ME the bill..."

"What bill? Are you on sugar high again?"

"THE BILL FOR THE REPARATIONS OF THAT DAMN PARK...! ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS ME OFF ON PURPOSE?!"

"Oh, that...well Kagura-chan said it had been taken care of...Kondo-san I think...Oi...Gin-san where are y-"

 

_Stalk: To follow and/or observe a person persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement._

"Gorilla, about that park...what's the catch? Tax robber underhanded trick, isn't it? Just spill."

"Ha! Hahaha...Yo...Yorozuya...I was just...just...passing in the neighborhood...duty!"

"You're losing your time, she's hiding her panties elsewhere...The park. The bill. Talk."

"Wha'? HOW D'YOU KNOW THAT? I looked everywh...err...no, I mean...that's not...PLEASE DON'T TELL HER!"

"The destroyed park. Talk and I'll keep quiet. Why haven't you guys sent me the bill yet? Its Mayora sick perverted idea of torturing me, right? He finally turned sadist, right? I fucking knew it, bastard nicotine freak!"

"Park? What park...oh!  _That_  park...well this is, this is...the bill is paid. You don't have to worry about that."

"Oi, why are you embarrassed all of a sudden? Gorilla...why you...? Oi...! Did...did your  _other_  resident sadist have a hand in the demolishing?"

"Err...that's not...well...wait, Yorozuya? Where are you...? OI! AT LEAST TELL ME WHERE SHE HIDES THEM!"

**_o-o-o_ **

There he was, alone, asleep on that reclusive bench.

It was uncanny how that little shit was able to blend in the landscape even with that awful mask and that even more awful uniform. Got to give him some credit, the bastard could hide from almost everybody when he wanted to, mainly for napping or slacking. Gintoki recognized that sort of skill because he, himself, craved to achieve that goal...escapism. And it was almost physically painful to admit that Souichiro-kun was better than him at that sort of sport, better than anyone in fact. Because Souichiro wasn't harassed or stalked or the victim of police brutality. He was the harasser, the stalker and the brutal policeman.

And only at age twenty something.

_Twenty_.

"You really don't care that much about your balls, do you?"

A light movement of the head, nothing else, "Dannaa...long time no see."

Somehow that attitude meant Okita knew why he was here, why they were going to have that unpleasant conversion and it also meant his damn instincts were right.  _Something_  happened. He tried, very hard, to restrain his blatant urge of throwing a punch and chose the sentimental angle.

"Lies between friends are an ugly thing."

A sigh, then the kid actually sat properly, pushing up the creepy mask, "Well...I'm an asshole...What did you expect?"

"Okita-kuuun...tell me something that I don't know."

"She's not bad on the eyes. And I'm just a guy."

More to his credit, the sadist didn't even blink when the Lake Toya pressured his Adam's apple, "That's it, you're mincemeat."

Wine red facing crimson. "She may be still fourteen in  _your_  eyes...but you've g-"

"It's Gintama! Of course she'll remain fourteen until the end of time...and Gin-san's sidekick forever and all the shitheads who try to lay a hand on her will face the Baldi-Shiroyasha's wrath...its writing in the sky...So shall be the story of Kagura the Yato: no illicit sexual relations."

They didn't move an inch and Okita wasn't even trying to draw, "Good luck with that."

"I recall a giant prick turning gay and a brainless baka boy licking his wounds in a hospital room."

_Ah!_ Finally some emotion in those sick eyes... _Wait! Is that...boredom again?_

"Curiosity." The sadist pushed the bokken away and massaged his throat.

"What?"

"It was 'curiosity'...and it's over. No, correction; it was over before it started."

He tightened his grip firmly, "Over...? Started? Oi, Souichiro-kun...you're making Gin-san's blood boil!" But the other didn't give a crap and pulled a Mayora move...he fled!

"It's Sougo. Dannaa, if your perverted lolicon mind wants details, ask her...I'm done here. Nothing happened."

_Bastard!_ "Not so fast kiddo!" He still had questions and talking to do, or most likely some beating to perform. His hands grabbed the collar, shaking the neat uniform, but the other was still apathetically placid. Almost waiting for the punch that never came.

"My sister...she refused three marriage proposals before Kuraba. That's commitment, don't you think?"

Gintoki froze, confused, and released him, "Why...Oi...Why you're saying that?"

"Ah...guess that's something I have on my mind lately..." Next thing, Okita waved a lazy hand in his face and puts his earphones on, "See ya..."

"OI...! You...Mah...what a hassle!"

**_o-o-o_ **

"How old are you?"

Her glare was unmistakably inflamed, "Seventeen!"

"Weren't ya fourteen the last time I asked?"

"Weren't ya drunk last time I answered?" And she focused again on whatever she was doing, which surprisingly wasn't eating or watching TV or picking her nose or sleeping...

_'She's not bad on the eyes.'_

"Oi, when did you stop wearing Odango?"

Kagura was actually reading...a fashion magazine, "SHINPACHI, GIN-CHAN'S LOW ON SUGAR AGAIN-ARU!"

And he was definitively not reading Jump, "Kagura?" She looked up reluctantly. "You know...that thing your insane Papi told you about...about..."

"About?"

"About... _love..._ that sometimes it starts in the bed...well...that's bullshit. It never happens, ever. Sooo...to avoid teen pregnancy, STD, heartbreak...don't start, ok? I mean the sex thing, got it?"

"SHINPACHI, SADAHARU BIT GIN-CHAN AGAIN-ARU!"

"Oi! I'm trying to be the adult here, ya know? Having a serious talk with his teenage freak daughter...be a bit cooperative here, Gin-san's not-"

"Don't bother, I know how it works." She flipped a page, not looking. Jump fell on the parquet.

"WHAT!? Are you...are you still...?"

"YES! And I don't want to talk about that with you."

"Why? I'm an incredibly open-minded aniki...You can tell me anything! ANYTHING!"

And finally her eyes met his, "You're a guy...if I want advises I'll ask Anego."

_'I wonder when it started. That her growing up...honestly didn't make me happy at all.'_

_'I wonder when it was that the loneliness started to overtake the happiness.'_

_Stupid Baldi..._

Someone stomped in, disrupting the awkward moment, "What is it again? I said no parfait and no sukonbu!"

"NOTHING!" At least they still both shared a bound over Megane-verbal-abuse. And when said Megane stomped out, very much pissed, Gintoki laid his head on the sofa, watching the ceiling; lost in thoughts, mostly about an uncertain future and an angry bald man.

"So when does it start?"

He lowered his gaze; she was staring questioningly and looked much more like the Kagura he'd always known, "When it happens you just know it."

She was disappointed and he wondered why, oh why, he sucked so much at playing the daddy. "That's the lamest answer ever."

"Gin-san is trying his best."

Then she smiled and that made him smile too, "I know you are."

 


	7. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seiryū (Azure Dragon) and Suzaku (Vermilion Bird): two of the four mythological creatures in the Chinese constellations. The Azure Dragon stands for spring/east, the Vermilion Bird summer/south, the White Tiger autumn/west, and the Black Tortoise winter/north.

  **Autumn Stories, Part Three**

* * *

_Su. Kon. Bu._

_Tastes like crap…_

_And vanilla too._

She ate a vanilla ice cream before their first kiss. He hated vanilla; maccha was the only flavor worthwhile. Now, why was he thinking of that again? Ah…! The dango shop he was staring at. She ate dango before their last kiss and that was problematic, he liked the taste of dango.

"Taichou?"

And he would almost admit that the vanilla wasn't so bad either…not really...

How many weeks had passed since their last meeting?

"Okita Taichou?"

And why was he thinking about her anyway? Aaah...because she was walking towards them, a puzzled look on her face and her vermilion hair lightly brushed by the autumn wind. But something had changed. She approached closer, carefree and bored...Lack of sleep must've damaged his brain, hallucination was bad indeed...

"What?"

Kamiyama indicated the girl with a tired shake of the head, "It's still dangerous, we should warn her..." Collective hallucination was dramatically bad.

Her dress was blue and her umbrella was different too...and the lips moved, "What's going on here?"

Now he was hearing an imaginary voice...pathetically bad. She fixed them, what a spectacle, Shinsengumi first squad, the  _elite_  squad, sprawled on the ground doing nothing even remotely useful except playing cards and daydreaming.

"Chinaaa...what an awful surprise."

Her hand was on her hip like a scolding baba, "Why are you blocking the street like that?"

"You better get down."

Her brow furrowed, distrusting, "Why?"

 _Hijikata you bastard, confiscating my precious sleeping mask...this stupid dream is stupid..._ "Fine, do as you want."

"China-san...be careful..." Kamiyama's panicked voice reached too late, but she dodged, as he knew she would. The bullet only grazed her cheek _._

_Why is she wearing blue?_

"Oi, what happened to your umbrella?" It surprised him that she chose that color again, she changed it over a year ago.

"What about it?" She dodged another bullet, but the moron was now firing with an automatic rifle.

"It's purple and...d'ya realize you're in his line of sight?"

She shrugged, not answering the first question, and finally sat on the asphalt, the Shinsengumi cars were protecting them from another terrorist tantrum. After some blank staring she pointed at the shadows under his eyes, "You look like you've been hit by a truck."

"You look like the bastard child of Suzaku and Seiryū." It was a lie, that azure qipao was distractingly...nice.

"Baka gaki."

She was already willing to leave and started to get up, but he wanted the illusion to last a little longer, "Fancy a job?"

 _Ah!_ She shrugged again, indifferent, "Depends on what."

"We're sick of being trapped here since last night because of Hijikata's baka plan. Apparently the guy's doped on caffeine or something illegal." She was unmoved and lost, "Hostage situation…we're supposed to wait for him to fall asleep, but that's going down the drain,  _we_ 're falling asleep." Terrorists needed money, but sucked at bank robbery.

"Morons." Of course she meant them. Shinsengumi.

"Well…what d'ya say?"

"I don't know, I must ask my associates."

She took out her cell phone and strummed the keys, but suddenly a stray bullet broke through a windshield and the phone shattered. A gasp proliferated among the men as he watched her hand bleeding, but he knew the wound was only superficial. Everybody froze and the Yato was angry. Very angry. Sougo smiled, his ordeal ended here, and the absurd plan was definitively going down to the toilet.

"So...what d'ya say, now?"

He smirked a detestable smirk and he knew it; she glared and trembled with rage, abruptly standing on her feet while opening her destructive weapon and with a firm step, jumped on the car boot to everybody's surprise, except him, and ran at the speed of light directly to the bank. A big crashing sound. Hijikata screamed through the walkie-talkie, Sougo feigned innocence. Fifteen minutes later, the terrorist-bank-robber-wannabe laid unconscious on the ground and the hostages ran away in fear or relief, no doubt the girl with the purple umbrella had left a greater impression than fifteen hours of captivity with an idiot.

This wasn't illusion, everything about her was real. The light and lazy gait, the porcelain skin and all the rest. She was here, her umbrella pointing accusingly, and she stared down at him, only him, with eyes full of life and threat.

"Done, now money."

He stood to face her as an equal, one of those stupid reflexes made his hand tighten around the hilt of his katana, and it was useless and it only happened because of that fierce stare. Because she had that mystifying ability to never bore him and even on the brink of collapsing from fatigue he was almost willing to fight, here and now.

_Sukonbu tastes like..._

But instead he started walking in the direction of the cash machine, glancing once from the corner his eyes, and she followed looking very much ready to snap his neck if he dared crossing her.

_...passion._

**_o-o-o_ **

He had trouble remembering his PIN and when nothing came out except his card she was already prepared to punch his bishounen face. Of course the asshole would lie.

"Bastard." And insult her too.

Now she was royally pissed, "OI! WHO D'YA THINK YA'RE CALLING BASTARD, SHITHEAD!?"

"Not you, Hijikata that pile of shit...making me pay for that stupid park," He turned to face her and she saw he was also royally pissed, "Now I'm broke."

 _Unbelievable!_  Her eyes shot him daggers, "I don't care. I want my fee!"

He opened his wallet before she had the opportunity to break his tibia, "That's enough to buy you dango...the rest in a few days...No, what am I saying...a few hours...bullying my subordinates doesn't take that long."

 _Grr..._ "You think I'm a dummy?"

He raised an eyebrow, staring with those blood-red eyes and a smug grin plastered on that pathetically pale face, "Are you?" She snapped and lifted her umbrella, but he was inflexible and ready to draw his katana, "It's that or nothing."

She sighed, half interested, a peek at the dango shop sealed the deal.

Fortunately he had enough cash to set her stomach at peace, although only temporally and after a few minutes she was chewing on the last one. While the asshole was...well...lying on his back...on the bench...the bench  _they_ shared.

 _So annoying-aru!_ She tried not to pay him any attention, what was the point? Who cared about that sorry piece of trash anyway? And why did he settle next to her? There was another bench, plenty in fact. Why did he stay at all? And why was he looking like a corpse?

She poked on his forehead and his eyelids half opened.  _"_ Are you gonna sleep here?"

"Why not? I've been up since like forever...never heard of 'breaking point'?"

"Pfft! It's only been since yesterday night, you're such a wimp!"

"I had a 24 hours shift before...sooo...it's been non-stop since...43 hours, no 45, no...whatev...lots...of..."

He fell asleep. And it was raining.

It started raining some time ago and soon the streets emptied themselves. It wasn't pouring, but Okita's lower body was already drenched. But his head and torso weren't because a purple umbrella was sheltering him...and the dragon-bird young woman at his side too.

Kagura didn't even think about letting him get soaked entirely, catching a cold in the process, because idiots don't catch colds. And even long after eating her last dango, she stayed...

Looking intensely at a tiny scar on a turbulent sleeping face.


	8. Past, Present, Future

  **Autumn Stories, Part Four**

* * *

_"And I'm telling you she refused!"_

_"How do you know that?"_

_She looked at her old cronies haughtily, "I have my sources."_

_He passed by them at that moment and they went silent the instant he threw a cold glare, staring at him like he was a yakuza. He ignored them and walked directly to the combini's counter. The gossips resumed their chat believing he couldn't eavesdrop, but he always had a keen hearing, which usually was very useful, yet right now he wanted nothing of this. The line was long and he decided to occupy his mind by _mentally_ reviewing the last training._

_But it was impossible not to listen to their venom._

_"He has the beauty of a deceitful demon."_

_Hijikata had recognized them vaguely, all three women came from wealthy Samurai families._

_"A trap to respectable young women...she's lost, poor girl."_

_"It's her fault, you don't let that sort of man enter in your life...handsome on the outside, rotten inside."_

_"How many do you think he killed? He isn't even from a samurai family."_

_"Mah! The Okita have fallen anyway, a chance that fool Kondo took them under his wing...the kid would've ended up a juvenile delinquent, surely."_

_He could no longer listen and before his temper had the opportunity to get the better of him, he dropped his provisions in the first basket and stormed out. Even if it was a just rumor, Hijikata suspected there was some truth behind it..._

_Mitsuba had refused the marriage proposal._

_Something arranged by a friend of her late mother; a decent but unspectacular son of a local merchant. He saw him once or twice, from the distance, when he introduced himself to Kondo's family and after he took her to visit an ancient Buddhist temple. That was the only time he and the gaki ever agreed about something...both hated the guy from the start for the simple reason that he had spent the afternoon with her. Alone._

_He couldn't deny that he felt relieved, but angry too. She couldn't realistically believe there was something...that there was even a possibility for them to have anything at all...He, himself had made his peace with that stupid idea some time ago, having a family and those feelings. Hijikata had kept rehearsing the problem over and over in his head until it was useless. Because he always came back to the same conclusion._

_There was no bright horizon for them. No future together._

_With a little 'luck' she would end up widow before twenty-five, perhaps even a single mother and without the support of a brother, someone who might actually disappear at any moment. And Hijikata couldn't imagine for a second not following Kondo to Edo._

_When he arrived at the dojo it was quiet and nobody was around. They were probably somewhere outside for one of those impromptu and eccentric training sessions in the river. Equilibrium exercise. Tch...rubbish! He took a shinai on the ground, the place was a mess like usual, all of the men coming here really lacked basic discipline. Except him of course, so he began to tidy the dojo, cursing under his breath. When the wooden floor was finally cleared he began is routine, pushing himself more than any other day and wanting to expel all the accumulated tension._

_"Hello...is someone there?"_

_He froze, recognizing the sweet voice and the light footsteps approaching. His heart began to beat faster and he realized that spending time with her until the last day, here, was a cruel taste at happiness...but worth every second of it. He may have buried that desire, or tried, but there were things in life you just couldn't control, things you'd keep fighting until death._

_She popped her head through the door, smiling, "Toshiro-san...are you alone?"_

**_o-o-o_ **

_Alone_.

"He's dead."

A harrowing fact. Another shit. He lit his cigarette, barely looking at the corpse, "Can't you be more careful?"

Okita stood and stared, "Why? It's not as if I've never done it before."

Hijikata breathed out smoke. It was cold and he glanced up, no rain in sight, but the wind was already crushing theirs skins, ruthless. "You always go too far."

"I'm a killer...I don't have that kind of scruple. If you can't take it, resign, Kondo-san doesn't need a craven for this job."

Hijikata tilted his head and glared at him, what kind of bullshit had the other fetched from that demented brain of his? "What're you on about? YOU JUST RAN OVER A DOG FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Nothin' to do with my job!" He sucked on his smoke; it seemed like a long day was awaiting him.

Okita was watching him placidly, his voice so irritating that it made his skin scrawl. It was like an incessant whistling the way the words just keep drawling from his mouth. An additional 'method', no doubt, to play with his already stretched nerves. "Hijikataaa-saan, you're so pathetic, always finding crappy excuses to your shortcomings."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" It didn't take long; he couldn't any longer and exploded. As usual. "Enough already...Dammit! Now call the HQ for someone to clean that mess." And turning on his heels he bagan his patrol. The dog could die a second time since he didn't give a shit.

But that infuriating voice sang again, "Where are you going?"

The bones of his neck nearly dislocated when Hijikata jerked his head too abruptly, "Are you kidding me? We've got a job to do…now move your ass and come here!"

But the other just stood there in the middle of the street, with blood on the bumper, next to his hairy and fluffy victim. His voice was oddly vivacious, "That's not something you should tell a subordinate."

He snapped, "What?"

And again Okita was staring with his crimson eyes, empty and threatening, bored and bright, childish and feral. This guy was walking contradiction...and...the bastard was leaving...in the  _other_  direction. Hijikata could hear the barely disguised disdain, "Forget it...you have no sense of humor."

"OI! DON'T YOU DARE BUG OFF AND BUM AROUN'! D'YOU HEAR ME! OKITAA!"

His cigarette had fallen, moribund on the asphalt, he was too exhausted to run after him or catch him by the collar and drag him by sheer will and the strength of his arms to force the brat to do his job. Exhausted or relieved, at least loneliness wouldn't threat to cut his throat at any moment. That's why Hijikata went on without seeing Okita for the rest of the day and without hearing for the umpteenth time the fatal word that the Captain threw at him.

"Die."

 _Little shit!_  It was getting worse and worse lately. The others had the crappy mood; he had the crappy mood and the crappy attacks. There were limits to childish revenge and harassment. Hijikata had been convincing himself that they had reached some sort understanding over the past few years; slowly, but surely.

Since she passed away...

_Tch...No use thinking about that!_

Sougo had been on edge recently, for some reason and almost all the men of the organization were aware of it. Especially the officers, especially his men. Even Gorilla had noticed...and that's saying something.

And it was at this exact moment that Hijikata stopped, as if struck by lightning, and he slammed a palm against his forehead in exasperation and amazement.

The one who was on edge, with the crappy mood and that others looked askance at, it wasn't Okita...it was him.

**_o-o-o_ **

"What're you doing here?"

The moment Hijikata crossed the doorway his bad tempered mood came back fully. It also reached the point of no return when the other finally deigned to answer.

"Get lost…I was here first."

The Vice-Commander wanted the dojo for himself; go figure running into the bane of his existence was the icing on the cake of an awful day.

"Yeah…I can see…slacking off…How was your day by the way? Enjoying yourself?"

Okita turned his head nonchalantly, "The funeral was moving...I cried. Lots of fluffy cats."

Hijikata approached, grabbing the young man's collar, "This is the last time you're doing that…get it?"

Change of tone, obviously it couldn't end up differently as Sougo narrowed his eyes, "I'm sick and tired of your mood swings-" and throwing the shinai at Hijikata's feet, "let's just go at each other this way…not that you'll win anyway." Sougo took another one from the corner of the dojo, glancing dangerously and daring him to refuse, "What's up, menopause already?"

 _Little bastard._  Hijikata gritted his teeth, "Fine. Let's do this."

And he attacked first, for once. They fought hard, shinais clashing harshly. It had been a long time since he had spared with him and even if Hijikata would never admit it, only maybe while drunk and while a certain annoying perm-head pushing his buttons was around boasting about that girl's inhuman power, training with Sougo was something valuable. Very. Because he was the best within the Shinsengumi. No...he was a genius and knew it.

"Ooh…you're in great form today…Okasaaan..." But pure talent didn't prevent the fact that he was outrageously obnoxious, on the contrary.

They fought for who knew how long, sweating and panting. Nobody came to disrupt the combat. After a while, Hijikata finally paused to catch his breath.

"I know why you're all cranky lately. You're so transparent, Hijikata-san...it's embarrassing." He was too exhausted to bother answering and let it slide, but the sadist wasn't willing to cut him some slack...or so he thought. "Listen carefully; I'm going to say it..." Hijikata looked up, the blank face was unreadable but earnest nonetheless, "And you know why...? Because it's the last thing you'd expect me to do."

Sougo lowered his shinai and bowed; doing the very same thing he did that time...when he had begged for his sister's sake.

"As the last member of the Okita family I owe you a debt. You prevented that name from being shamed forever and shame Kondo-san too. Your…behavior allowed  _her_  to avoid that disgusting union with Kuraba-" then Sougo straightened up, eyes steady, "you were right. You often are."

Hijikata was stunned, there were so many things wrong about that statement and the way Sougo said those words...But the young man kept on, "I know she would've been miserable where she is now if everything went to dust. That is…my place in the Shinsengumi, at Kondo-san side…and yo-"

"Enough. No more..." He couldn't stand it, his hand was shaking slightly. And he couldn't look at Sougo either.  _Today_...

After an endless silence, when the earth had stood still, Okita walked away.

_Three years today._

Something crossed his mind, it was instinct and what he had witnessed over the last few weeks. Hijikata had known the sadist for more than a decade and watched him grow up, almost becoming his brother.

"Sougo..."

What could he say? The other probably wouldn't listen or perhaps for once... _Why not?_  "If you play with fire, don't get burned."

The young samurai didn't look back, "I'm not like you."

_Yes, you are...no matter how much you hate it._

After Okita left Hijikata kept training, again and again, until mental exhaustion...and oblivion.


	9. Something More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Haori: lightweight jacket worn over a kimono.  
> -Rén and Yi: Two of the Five Constants in Confucianism. Loosely translated as good-heartedness (Rén) and morals/code of etiquette (Yi). Bushidō is principally inspired by Neo-confucianism.  
> -Ippon: One full point, highest score in a fight.

  **Autumn Stories, Part Five**

 

* * *

 

Things escalated rather quickly.

He wiped the blood that was spilling from the cut on his eyebrow, but to no effect, it flowed along the cheek, dripping on his off-white haori. "That's nasty."

And it was different this time,  _she_  had attacked him and the violence went up a notch.

"An eye for an eye. You ruined my dress...dog!"

She was making him angry on purpose, and it worked. Those blazing eyes and that katana would have knocked her out already if she were human. But he managed to compose his face, looking smug was like a second nature to him. "I guess Rén and Yi just went out the window?"

She smirked cruelly, her umbrella twirled. "The Yato's philosophy is blood and food." The twirling thing was that fatal nanosecond of inattention he needed and he tackled her with the sheath as harshly as she hit him earlier and she fell heavily on her back, but her shaken pride was what will be hurt the most.

He leaned slightly, some of his blood dropped on her sleeve; the gaki wasn't playing by the rules either. "It's my day off...Bushidō stayed at home with the uniform." And he certainly didn't discriminate when it came to female opponents. In a twisted way it was almost a feminist stance. Didn't he want to hire the girl who had tried to kill him?

_Kagura...you're losing your mind...he's a misogynistic prick!_ "You're dead!"

"Yeah...yeah...I heard that before...What's up with you today? Periods? Ovulation? Starv-"

A quick movement of the wrist to swing her weapon and a kneecap as a result, he stumbled next to her, but before she could get up at all, he seized her forehand and didn't let go. All she could manage to do is sit on the wet concrete, by chance they hadn't ended up at the river yet. She pulled her arm to her, he pulled back and so on until her heel tried to hit his stomach, but he blocked with his other arm.  _Baka gaki_. The head-butt right on the wounded brow ridge was delightfully painful and after getting up finally, her right foot came quickly 'resting' on his private parts. Over.

Of course that didn't please him at all, lying there miserably in defeat, but no murderous vibe that his whole body exulted would make a difference, and it only added a sweet feeling to the victory. After a silent moment of commiseration for the poor soul and his gigantic ego (and a glaring contest), the tip of her umbrella pressured on his cheek. Right on that scar she'd been obsessing over, the reason she came after him. A scar she couldn't actually see now because of the declining light and the distance. That's how small it was.

"Where did you get that?"

His hand took the umbrella, but instead of fighting back he pushed it aside gently, nothing else.

"How d'you let that happen?" Tongue-tied. "Oi, I'm curious. Who did this?" Still mute, she pressed her boot harder on his precious jewels, "I can crush them-" He winced. "-just like that."

But he didn't seem to believe her intimidation and smiled, "Now...who's the one playing with fire, China?"

The line of opaque red blood that had stained the right side shaped his face like a dark, reverse halo. Hideous...

"So what if I am?"

_Hideous..._ It had stopped bleeding, she only realized now...

"Aren't you afraid?"

_'When it happens you just know it...'_

"No. Why you're asking?"

_Stupid Gin-chan..._

"Because you're a virgin," and with that he grabbed her ankle and shoved her aside.

She didn't fall, but almost, no matter, she was too upset, no...she'd been hit by an invisible sledgehammer. "WHAT...? Wha' the hell did you say!?" How could things had escalated  _this_  way...trust the sadist to cross the line.

"Cut the crap." He was already standing, touching his wound lightly, "Damn you're a bitch, I need stitches now..."

Now or never, she had to ask him, "You started that mess...I want to know why."

He looked up, not much surprise here, apart from a nervous hand tightening the hilt of his katana. It was always like this, impossible to read those eyes. He seemed to be thinking about what to say next, which was a good sign; anything could do at this point. Anything. Even something bad was better than the perpetual blur clouding her judgment...and nothingness.

"Mirror is your friend." That was all. And he decamped without a single glance.

_No way..._

_No way in the entire universe..._ "OI! COME BACK!" She ran after him and no matter what it'd take, he  _will_  talk. Their fight had started on the riverbank, where she had found him and now they were walking along the wayside, passersby avoiding them, even the most persistent; one look at them should alarm anyone.

She caught up and he acknowledged her briskly, "What now? Don't tell me you got your panties in a twist because of a meaningless flirting."

"If it's meaningless then why did you start it?"

"I don't know. And the more I listen to you the less I get closer to an answer."

"That's too easy...Oi...STOP!" He didn't, her weapon flew blocking his path, "I said stop, bastard!"

"You wanna talk? Alright." He faced her, detached and cold, "Talk."

"Do you enjoy messing with other people's minds that much?"

"Seems to me you're doing the messing all by yourself. I never went too far and when you said enough I backed off...like  _you_  wanted."

"So you didn't want to back off? Is that it?"

He gritted his teeth, failing to try hiding whatever he was hiding, "Doesn't matter...it would've ended either way."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

He restrained himself, clearly; hand in mid-air, ready to draw and the eyes aflame, "You're annoying." They were going to clash again, that's what she thought, but he only resumed walking. They were approaching the bridge and she followed, determined to know the truth behind that thick and stubborn skull. But she had to give some of herself, she knew she had to; otherwise she won't break that front, ever.

"I was scared...happy now? But that's a normal thing...for girls like me...I mean...inexperienced and all that stuf-"

"I don't need you to get laid."

That stopped her for a second. She could leave now, she should... _He's a jerk, that's your answer._

"What?"

"You heard me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sixteen...that's what you want, right? Not being treated like a fourteen year old?"

"What kind of stupid question is that? And my birthday was three weeks ago! I'M SEVENTEEN!"

He looked pensively at the darkening sky, "Hmm...Do I give a shit? Lemme see...no."

"You damn rotten sad-"

"Oi!" They'd reach the middle of the bridge already, with its ancient railing and sun setting and river flowing. A quiet place, people were sparse, such a contrast with her tormented mind. He finally stopped and turned around, hands in his sleeves. The stain on his haori looked like he'd been pierced by a sword. And his eyes were transfixing, "Starting now, this is an adult conversation." Challenging as well, to stay or flee.

As if she would ever bend, "Bring it on."

The crimson stare was resolute, "If it's about sex and sex only...why would I go through such a hassle with you?"

"Because you're a sadist."

"Try harder."

"You're a sadist and a player."

Eyes rolling and that conceited air about him.  _Grr..._ "You play around, don't you deny it! Those pathetic girls you go out with...I'm not one of them."

"Who are you to judge?"

"Someone who can actually  _beat_  you, fair and square or not, and I just proved it." She pointed at the wounds with her umbrella, "That's who I am."

"Sa-chan is not pathetic."

_Wha'!_  Her hand faltered and her body froze, her mind needed processing, she blinked a couple of times and heat was rising in her blood system, "Repeat that..."

"Sarutobi-san is not pathetic."

Now an invisible hand was twisting her insides, "Did you...sleep with her?"

"Bondage makes people closer." And he stayed there like a marble statue, waiting for any reactions. It took a few seconds before she finally realized what he was doing...enjoying the mental torture.  _That asshole..._

"Bullshit!"

"She's my friend...sort of. And those girls, never crossed your mind that they actually agreed and enjoyed it?"

"Because they're nuts!"

"Judgmental and narrow-minded...What a catch you make, Chinaaa."

She didn't get it, it was too fast...it was spinning and painful. That's what she thought from the beginning, what he was after, like those men who checked her out in the street and that she wanted to punch. Anego had told her it's what men do, that they were pitiful perverts with one-track minds...

"Why does this have to be about sex?"

"It's always about sex. You said that yourself, it's the reason why you're afraid."

"It's not; you're a pervert piece of trash bastard that's all!"

He sighed, calm and composed, "Fine. If this is your opinion of me then stop here, I'm going this way."

If this was desire then it wasn't worth it, she didn't want it. Because obviously, falling in love with a jerk was beyond her control and whatever pledges she had told herself in that closet of hers, too small now and dusty, it didn't work. Even if her mind kept screaming in disgust and rage, body and soul no longer responded to her will, it was almost too late. She came here seeking him so he would do something outrageous and she would move on without regret.

It was a failure.

And seeing him walking away without a second thought made it  _her_  failure.

"COWARD!"

He halted dead, body tensed. "Riiight... _I_  am the coward now." His tone was sharp, but when he looked over his shoulder something must've appeared on her face, because he seemed genuinely surprised, but she knew for certain she wasn't crying. She won't cry. His own features softened and he moved enough to face her properly, speaking again, nothing mean or facetious or smug, he spoke like an adult, "Look...I'm twenty one and you're-"

"Not ready." It was an affirmation, she wasn't ashamed, why would she?

A light smile formed on his lips, it was mocking, but benign, "I figured that out."

_Fine...it's not only about sex._  Her free hand flexed. Open, close, open, close..."What do we do now?"

He looked over in the distance towards the river and leaned on the railing, thinking. "Some average ronin-" He traced the scar with his forefinger, still not looking at her, "-I don't even remember when." She took two steps and leaned beside him. "Sometimes I feel one those dickheads is gonna cut me accidentally for real...and it pisses me off. If someone has to end me at least that person should be skilled."

She watched the current of the water, "I don't like it...not being in control of that thing between us."

"Then you're lucky...I  _hate_  it."

Cold feet again, this was too overwhelming. "Maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while."

"Done before. How did that work out for you?"

A long silence, side by side, the sound of water and the distant murmurs of the city that were encircling them, "Kinda sucked." This was a revelation, laying her heart out with two simple and stupid words. Yes, it had sucked.

A low sigh and a voice she had never heard before, "That's an understatement." Strange it was still the same voice, unmistakably. And it hit her; a veil falling from her vision, her mind was finally less obscure. They were in this mess together. Light brown bangs shielded his eyes and, in any case, he was avoiding her stare, looking at something in the depth of the water. She wanted to see them; red was her favorite color after all.

"It's going to rain again." She could tell he was nervous, when had he ever said something as mundane as that? Suddenly, a fresh breeze reminded her that her dress had been slashed, a scrap of cloth dangling near her right knee. Ruined. She grabbed it and tore it out; he didn't notice so she approached closer, that much blood for a small wound was bad omen...

He caught her wrist, holding tight, and she saw the tumultuous crimson, red, brown or was it black eyes? "What d'you think you're doing?"

There were no easy answers and the questions kept adding themselves. Why couldn't she sleep well at night? Why didn't he sleep well on that bench? Why did the age of seventeen have to mean something for Yato? Why was Gin-chan so overly annoying lately?

And her Papi that hadn't been there on her birthday while her baka Nii probably forgot entirely she had one.

Why couldn't she move and get the hell out of here? And why...why did she want to kiss him so badly?

"Shut up."

Enough thinking. She jumped.

_**o-o-o** _

_Sukonbu tastes like..._

_You're an idiot._

She wasn't playing fair at all. What could he do?  _Ippon again_...Was it the moment her soft lips brushed his? Or when the piece of dress dropped from her hand and carelessly fell in the river? No, maybe when he slid his hand through her wild, fiery hair...

Defeated by chaos.

_Aneue...did you feel that too?_

* * *

_End of Autumn Stories_


	10. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yōkai: Supernatural monster

 

**Winter Stories, Part One**

* * *

 

Some nights she dreamt of skulls smashed in her hands, cracking bones under her foot, dark visions of the past and future that were rotting her present. Leaving her mouth dry and sometimes with the remnant taste of blood, the sickeningly brutal leftovers of her tribe. Yato's fate.

Normal girls dream of... _What do they dream of?_

"Kagura-chan, you're spacing out again."

Shinpachi was the only one along with Gin-san who knew her deepest secret, until now she had to face it only occasionally, still under the wings of her guardians and a baka Baldi, the worst father in the universe. There were days when her heart screamed with rage and anger, growing up and losing her innocence, she didn't want to feel it. She knew they knew, but pretend not to. Gin-san was waiting, that she was also certain...waiting for her to talk. What of? There's nothing to talk about, she had chosen the other way and Kamui could die in a hole far away... _Yeah, right..._

Seventeen, there's an old saying...it's the age Yatos gain full strength.

"I'm going out."

"Kagura-chan."

It wasn't fair to Shinpachi, he didn't deserve this... _Do something!_  She smiled, "It'll pass...tummy ache."

She knew he knew it was a lie.

There were days she wished not be herself anymore.

 

_**o-o-o** _

"It's cold."

"It's December."

It was almost a daily routine, a new one, ending up somewhere hidden from everyone, an hour of nothing and everything. He was napping most of the time, seemed satisfied with the silence and any case their discussions, even the most mundane, often ended in stupid fights or full battles. Often, she won. Her physical strength made her question the fact that her 'boyfriend' _wasn't_ an alien freak like her...but...that big 'but'...the gaki was someone she had added to the list, the list of precious people. A new secret.

She wasn't sleeping that day, restless and impatient. "Stop moving." He couldn't sleep either, how laughable.

"It is too cramped here...too dirty...too...too everything!"

He let out a long breath, not moving an inch; she turned her head and saw that he still had his eyes closed. It was a small victory to have banished the horrible red mask.  _This guy IS a freak._  And now she couldn't stop grinning, problem solved, both freaks in a freak show named Gintama.

"Chinaa...you came here willingly, now shut up or kiss me." Why didn't he even pretend to sleep? It would be easier.

"Like hell."

She moved awkwardly, not caring, kicking him and resting her head on his chest, facing the ceiling with foot on the wall. It was worse than Gin-chan's closet, one of the many hidden places he affections, unknown to the morons in navy blue; Mayora in particular.  _Hey, maybe smelly crow will pay a lot for that information?_ After a silence and her new found comfort she could hear the feint heartbeat beneath the thick uniform, regular and rocking and his quiet breathing. All of this was still new.

New sensations, new emotions, new...

"Oi, gaki?"

"Hmm..."

_One day I'm gonna tell you why I changed the colors of my umbrella_... "Nothing..."

They fell into nothing again. _Now_ he was sleeping and she sat, slowly leaning over his face, her eyes were automatically drawn to the scar and she didn't even notice when his eyelids open.

"Weird girl."

She was startled by that aloof voice and a deep red, red, red gaze. Beautiful and alive. "If I'm weird, you're sly." She had been thinking a lot lately, way too much for her own liking, and it didn't suit her. Instinctive people should stick to what they do best, relying on their intuition. But no can do, because intuition and thoughts converged every single time. And she'd been thinking a lot about unnecessarily painful memories.

Her hand slid around his neck, feeling the muscles, bones, his Adam apple and she did the same on her own with her left hand, "Even if mine is slender...it doesn't mean anything."

Stronger than humans.

His eyes were shining, "Want me dead that badly?" Now his hand was pushing hers and encircling her neck, mirroring her movements. Soft touches and cold, rough palms, slowly getting warmer at the contact of her skin. Samurai hand. Her fingers traced his chin, he did the same. Silly game.  _I can be gentle too..._

He observed her, insistent, "What's wrong?"  _He has noticed, so unfair.._.

She's an open book and so bad at lying, "Nothing." Her mind needed to go blank and he was very good at it, but she could do more, holding him tight, kissing him until she's numb. That's what she did, for how long she had no idea and finally that brain stopped functioning. Until she was smacked on the head...

"Oi...my self-restraint has limits..."

Limits. She had been thinking a lot about that too. And it was unfair on her part, how she was using this to forget, even more when they both knew nothing else would come of it. If it were her, she'll be angry. But he never really was, how odd, how...unexpected.

"It's not my thing...listening to people and their problems, I never talk about mine either-" Okita Sougo was a sly honest bastard, "-but you don't need to pretend with me. If you're down or cheerful or feel like crying or yelling, so be it."

_Is it that simple?_

For once today, she told the truth, "I need distraction."

Unfazed or smug, he rarely gave clues about himself, even now and this was why his face didn't betray any emotions, "Then let's go fight. I might win today." Childish bickering, that comfort zone they knew too well.

She slapped him on the cheek, "In your dream, Prince S degenerate!"

He pulled her hair, "Yōkai."

 

_**o-o-o** _

"I have a boyfriend."

The sentence was dropped without warning or tact, subtlety had never been her strong point, Shinpachi doubted that the young woman even knew the meaning of the word and loads of others too. "Ah." What else could he say? It wasn't not the first time. Was this the reason why she didn't want to confide anymore?  _I thought she had Ane-ue ..._

"He's four years older, but not pushy...so I'm gonna stay virgin like you, for now."

_Kagura-chan, this is so mean!_

Anyway, that was bound to happen, Kagura looked more '-san' than '-chan' recently. Men  _did_  stare at her and it was hard to tell who, between Gin-san and himself, struggled the most to avoid beating them to a pulp.  _Smile_. "Well...he seems like a respectful guy...do you like him?"

"I guess."

"Does Gin-san know?"

She was uncomfortable, "Not yet...can you...please..."

Of course! Shimura Shinpachi, ten times more mature than pink milk addict, "Don't worry."

Ah! Kagura-chan was smiling...finally. Why did she have to grow even more...more...womanly than during the time-skip arc?

"Shinpachi...you won't laugh if I tell you who."

_Huh?_ "Wha'? It's not like you to be embarrassed...Wait! I know him?"

"I'm not ashamed! It's just...it's laughable now that I gave it some thought...like... like irony...ah! That's it...irony-aru!" How did she know  _that_ word? "And he's human too..."

"So what?" He tried hard being the comprehensive aniki, but indeed, why should this be a problem... _Girls...what trouble!_  She blinked, somehow surprised, as if she'd discovered something new. "I won't laugh, promise, you can tell me."

Still blinking and then...that horrible, horrible habit of picking her nose. More often than not she was as refined as a Yakuza daughter...

"Bastard gaki piece of trash."

"Err...Who?"

Booger flying, "Tax robber."

_I. Don't. Feel. Ok. About. This..._ "Come again..."

"Shinsengumi sadist."

Shinpachi choked on an imaginary rice ball, "O...Oki...Okita-saa...n?"

Suddenly, dead fish eyes stared him down, "Man, you're slow."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! GIIIIIIN-SAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 


	11. Not Omiai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omiai: Traditional matchmaking  
> Irori: Sunken hearth, generally in the middle of the room  
> Manjū: Japanese sweet

 

**Winter Stories, Part Two**

 

* * *

It definitively wasn't an Omiai...

"Want some more?"

...and they had managed to escape unscathed, with food, stolen as it turned out.

"Ah! I want dumplings, yes..."

Did the others even notice? Okita Sougo couldn't give a shit at this moment, this hideout had an irori and futons and before all of Edo's special policemen and Kabukicho's finest fighters went tracking and/or find them...time was suspended. Under a tiny, comfy shelter.

_I'm a genius._

"Try those...hey, don't eat them all!"

Okita Sougo couldn't care less either about the blizzard outside and its wind battling against the window, or about still wearing his uniform.

"That's so delicious...more please!"

And he sure as hell didn't want to remember those morons acting like five years old bullies in the school yard. Because, for one,  _he_  was the master at bullying, a sad behavior for most decent citizens, a polished skill for a sadist, and two: those guys were third rate at best.

But tonight he hadn't been the bully nor did he try to be the smart ass. No, what he did was blend into the environment, waiting for Danna or the She-Gorilla or Four Eyes to hit first. Money was on the cabaret girl...so wrong, Shimura Shinpachi actually has balls...and Kondo-san took the blow. Bless his soul. Hijikata was next, then Zaki, then the rest of the Shinsengumi waiting outside the inn, the supposed neutral ground, Switzerland for an informal 'meeting' about the 'situation'.

Read: Yorozuya don't mix with Shinsengumi, aka "Bakufu sold outs, piece of dirty lolicons, Edo's number one nuisance with a hairy pervert leader."  _Ah! Danna and his poetic prowess_.

After a very loud "Tch, you low-life useless bum! Who're you calling sold out?!" all of the men had stood up like one bushi for the 'honor' of their organization...and Okita Sougo had escaped through the mess, with  _her_  and that monstrous stomach. And the food.

He chuckled under his breath, once a moron always a moron and there were plenty left at the inn.

"What?"

"Nothing, here..."

She smiled gorgeously, "Thanks!"

That was an hour ago and here he was, enjoying the view.  _His_  girl, happy, her rosy cheeks shining because of the fire, flames reflecting in those foreign blue eyes, a color you couldn't find in Edo or Japan, perhaps even Earth.  _His_  blue.

_I'm insane._

It was a sweet winter night and the moon was full.

_**o-o-o** _

"Let me see."

"See what?"

He had patiently waited for her to finish all the dishes until she ate her fill. Now taking her hand he dragged her to sit closer to the window, that moonlight was perfection for her pearly skin. Even if you couldn't tell the difference, because under that sort of light anyone may look silvery pale, he knew this girl wasn't like anyone. And strange questions kept popping in his head, had he developed a fetish for that sunless skin? Or was he just a pervert like every average man?

_Fine, either way it suits my sadistic tendencies._

"What the hell are you doin'?"

_Ah! Busted_. His eyes had been locked long enough on her bar arms and frail neck, watching every detail, and it's a wonder she hadn't beat him up yet.

"Your skin..."

She touched her arm frantically, looking for an anomaly, "What? Oi, you scaring me!"

"No...I like it, that's all."

She gave a skeptical glare and checked once again for the nonexistence disease, and soon her childlike pout diminished when nothing caught her inspection, "Gaki, you're so weird..."

He couldn't help a smile at this point, "That's my line, China," And he wasn't able to stare elsewhere but her blushing face, making her almost uncomfortable on purpose. Almost.

A slap, "Stop that."

_No...not tonight._ Firmly taking her hands in his, entwining them, his gaze never faded and the more his grip tightened the more he discovered he didn't want to let go. She tensed a little and that was enough to pull some senses in his dead brain.

"I'm not gonna do anything."

No response, her silence seemed like an approval. She was too naïve, it  _was_  a lie just now, and he wanted to do things, like...here and he leaned slowly, not to scare her, giving a kiss on the invisible frontier, right between her breasts.  _That damn stupid dress!_  He closed his eyes, at this rate 'frustration' will soon be part of his daily vocabulary. How many times had he imagined her naked already?

The kiss was soft and chaste, but still bold.  _Alright, punch me now._

But all he could feel was her hesitant hand sliding in his hair, which was odd and intimate, if it were someone else it would have unsettled him. But not with her, because being like this with someone he actually cared about was vastly different from what he had experienced until now...and because that day on the bridge, Okita Sougo had realized how much he had been mistaken, believing that none of this would ever happen. There weren't many people in this world he would call friends, three was still the number, that's how suspicious he was. And yet, he didn't see it coming, washing over him like a wave washes over a rock, again and again until it left a mark, profound and impossible to erase.

Trust.

He encircled his arms around her waist, head reposing where his lips had kiss a moment before, "One day...I'm gonna tell you why I hate hospitals."

For that dung-beetle lover freak to be the only woman besides Mitsuba who he was willing to entrust his deepest emotions to, someone he thought would actually be the last, the world must've gone nuts. Or only him maybe, as he couldn't fathom how he ended up there in the first place, and each moment shared together was a leap further on that path that frightened him to no end, precisely because he couldn't see how it will end.

"Oi gaki...why do you like me?"

Her voice snapped him back to a dying fire, blizzard, her warm body and that heart that was beating so fast, like an innocent girl.

"Do I?"

"Bastard!" A smack on the head, but a light one.

_Insane. And an asshole too..._ But no, he won't, he can't do anything. And promises of endless love were also excluded. Because even if times of self-reflection were over, when 'should I or not' occupied his thoughts, he wasn't enough an asshole to lie, at least for now. Because Okita Sougo had made a choice on that bridge, just before she had torn her azure dress and kissed him...and he'll stick to it.

_Hijikata you bastard, right again...Kondo-san and the Shinsengumi are over anything and anybody._

It didn't matter if, indeed,  _this_  was love.

He finally opened his eyes; awakened in confusion, strange for he didn't remember sleeping. And that view again, the one that made his heart and body weak...the moon lightening her skin. His hand slid along her thigh, "Oi...that knee is dangerously erotic..."

She froze and stopped caressing his hair, "Wha'?!"

Right now, he didn't care about the future and sat straight, facing her pissed scowl and just, just to piss her even more...no, scratch that, just because he wanted to...he kissed her.  _His_  girl. On those lips, still tasting of sugary manjū, and then that leg, while his fingers lightly slipped behind the knee, where the skin was softer. And that's what he wanted the most, exploring all the sweet parts and there were many, because Yatos apparently had less scars than humans, or perhaps it was just her... _whatever_...under her ear, near the clavicle, the elbow...He was still clutching her hand, fearing she might escape a second time this night...but...she didn't say or do anything, his gaze scrutinized her face.

"Are you afraid now?"

"No..."

_**o-o-o** _

Few hours later, after Okita's informants had received multiples jail threats and a Lake Toya waving too close to their faces, the morons finally found the hideout and the moon was already gone.

"Gin-san-" Shinpachi pointed at the empty futons, "-why are they sleeping on the floor?"

The silver ronin scratched his head, helpless, "Beats me..."

A smoky fog escaped from the semi darkness and the demon Vice-Commander sighed tiredly, "Alright, let's stop this nonsense...see, both are dressed...nothing happened here."

"How d'ya know that, Mayora? Usually after sex people are cold and put their clothes back on!"

"Gin-san, shut up!"

"Sleepless nights do you no good Yorozuya. Just look around."

"That's no proof, my innocent virginal Kagura has been soiled...I'm gonna slice him open!"

"SHADDUP!"

They jumped, a vermilion head rose and a deathly aura suddenly surrounded them, "The innocent virginal me is still there and kicking...and you're disturbing my beauty sleep...OUT! All of you-aru!"


	12. Lay Down Your Burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wuxia: Chinese fiction with martial hero  
> Sheeta, Dola, Pazu and Muska are characters from the anime 'Castle in the Sky'. Kiki is the heroine of 'Kiki's delivery service'  
> Diaochan: One of the Four Beauties of ancient China, a character of 'Romance of the Three Kingdoms'

 

**Winter Stories, Part Three**

* * *

The light became more accurate in spite of the darkness, a tiny glimmer among the acrid smell of dust and metal, one glow lost in the vast celestial vault that fell and fell unquestionably on the field of ruin. But this ethereal, adrift object was only a crystal that, strangely, had decided to land and melt on his eyelid and this sweet freshness made his pain return.

Now the red iris defied the cold and dim night. So dim.

"...Dy-ing..." A murmur, his throat hurt too much and the rest of his young body was weakened, wounded and alone. No escape this time and this unlikely place for a grave, he could only despise it wholeheartedly.

_Kondo-san...I failed you._

Okita had only the sky to glare at, waiting for death on New Year's Eve amidst snowflakes and night, but regrets and fear wouldn't dictate their law, his ego couldn't allow that.

_Stupid pride._  "I...am...bu-shi..."

If the explosion hadn't destroyed him surely the collapse of the remains of that old building will. And it fell.

 

_**o-o-o** _

Diiing Dong!

"KAGURA! Are you goin' to open that door?!"

The noises coming from all directions didn't seem to perturb the young woman and her contemplative stare. Although the ceiling wasn't the object of her attention, she could see through it, through the sky too, her mind had escaped some time ago. But 'thinking' wasn't the right word to describe her state. It was only blank, dull, frustrated brooding.

_Grounded...what a joke-aru!_

She let out a small sigh, the least she could do was to make it painful for Gin-chan, "I'm busy..."

From behind the toilet door, a screeching voice responded and Kagura knew  _all_ the neighbors could also hear, "I'M BUSY TOO, TAKING A DUMP! OPEN THAT DOOR!" It was true that it's been a while now that the bell was ringing, maybe a client? Another sigh and she got up from the couch, at last, money _was_ valuable during those harsh, cold, winter days.

"Pff...Disgusting old silver man."

Ding dong!

"I heard that you ungrateful hormone-driven teenager monster! UNDERAGED...may I add!"

Her fists clenched, "SHADDUP!"

_What a moron! Nothing happened_... _!_ That's right... _technically_  she was still a virgin.  _Argh_...She slammed her hands on her face, a vain attempt at hiding the blush.  _Don't...don't think about it!_ Now there were two options and one included crashing a toilets door. Either she confronts her tyrannical guardian with a punch and ends that stupid grounding stuff or...

Diiing Dooong!

_Grr..._ "Fine...comin'..." It was probably Shinpachi and Anego, with food! That should lift her spirit if she knew who did the cooking. _Please be it Shinpachi, Shinpachi, Shinpachi. Wait! Why the bell?_  Dragging her feet in the most unenthusiastic fashion, she slowly, slowly slid open that darn door only to discover that her fist will meet someone else's jaw today.  _Gin-chan, that's your lucky day!_

"YOU!"

"Surprise!"

As light as a feather, Kagura went full Wuxia heroine and...CRASH!

"You baka...baka Baldi!"

 

_**o-o-o** _

_"...Sou-chan..."_

_Aneue..._

_"Sou-chan..."_

_Stop...Aneue, it hurts..._

_"Sougo..."_

_"Sou-chan, you fell from the tree and broke your wrist. It's all right now..."_

"Ane-ue...nee-chan..."

"SOUGO!"

When his eyesight focused again, leaving the blur behind, he could see that the man's face was wet from tears. And worried too, but also smiling...a gentle, familiar face he recognized the second it appeared.  _Savior._   _Mentor_. He hadn't lost it, his brain was in control and realized what hurt and where, it was near his heart. He laughed, or tried at best, his lungs tearing themselves under a broken rib-cage.

"...Kondo-sa-san...I'm...im-immortal..."

 

_**o-o-o** _

"Save that old man some pain, I'm not getting younger you know?"

Trying to explain how conflicted her feelings were, how anger and happiness could exist on the same level before that elusive man, how she'd been consciously restraining her joy since he set foot in Gin-chan's flat would only be the beginning. The whole story was actually the never ending saga of a dysfunctional family, whose members were, respectively: the most powerful Yato in the universe (the father), the second most powerful (the son) and (probably) the third. A reluctant Yato girl who, while growing up in exile, had developed a deep rooted love-hate relationship to her kind. Not to mention her Papi _was_ an idiot!

She glared and glared and Gin-san was the lay back referee of their glaring contest taking place around the kotatsu, at his request. To be honest Umibōzu didn't give much of a fight, he knew better than denying the plain truth.

"You suck Baldi! Why ya're comin' here NOW? What about my birthday? And Christmas? And what about that lame-ass Santa card you sent? I'M NOT THIRTEEN ANYMORE! SANTA AIN'T REAL! And Gin-chan is so broke I didn't have any presents!"

"Oi, leave me out of it! And what d'ya mean no presents!?"

"Noodle bracelets ain't a present!"

"What's that supposed to mean? I made it with all my heart!"

"SHADDUP!"

"Can I have your attention?"

They both turned their glares to the bald man, but instead of lashing out simultaneously, Gintoki and Kagura stayed quiet, Papi's face wasn't up to bickering anymore and looked awfully serious, "Please, I wish for you to think carefully about what I'm about to say Kagura."

Her fists clenched, again. _I don't like this, I don't like th-_

"It was the first time an alien gave me that kind of beating and it took me three months to get back on my feet. Not pretty. Of course the freak ended up in pieces but that slimy thing still almost tore my other arm apart...See, this is why I didn't come earlier...I'm sorry, truly sorry. Kagura, I let you stay here with Sakata-san and Shinpachi-kun because I've always been a lousy father and had no right to force you to come with me while, myself, was unable to stay home and take care of your mother and you...Now I realize that I'm not invincible anymore, those times are over, I'm getting too old for that...I'm as old as Housen and look how he ended up. The passing days are becoming longer and the years go by more and more lonely...I ask nothing of you, I'm not forcing you to do anything, but...if your wish is still to become an alien hunter like this old geezer here, then you should know that Umibōzu needs an apprentice...and that your silly father would be the happiest if you ever accepted."

A solemn silence settled, entrapping them, she couldn't process all of what she just heard at once. Then, out of the blue, the phone rang and Gin-chan got up, not glancing at her. Not once! And her brain was slowly getting back on track, Umibōzu had his eyes on the tea cup in front of him, as if expecting a sentence of life or death and Kagura didn't know how to react before that vulnerable father.

_Gin-chan, what do I do?_

"Hello, Yorozuya Gin-san at your service, I'm warning you in advance it's double price on New Year's Day."

_What should I do?_ She felt the tears coming, this was so unexpected...

"Kagura."

_Don't panic._

"Kagura...it's Jimi."

This snapped her to reality, "Who?"

She looked at her human father with puzzled eyes and a dizzy mind...a bad feeling invaded her at once. Gin-san was scratching his head nervously, but spoke so calmly, like if...if...

"Jimi...the tax robber."

 

_**o-o-o** _

"Toshi said you lost focus, otherwise you would've never entered the building alone. There were explosives everywhere."

"They went kamikaze on me. How should I've known?"

Drugged to numbness and it was all kind of odd how he still could manage to speak coherently, or speak at all for that matter. Sougo glanced at the morphine drip,  _that_  and the blood transfusion earlier must have been effective.

"That's their only way to try and kill you...a fair fight is their defeat, each time."

"Since when do we or 'they' play fair?"

Kondo-san laughed, "Never, but to take  _you_  down it needs special treatment."

A flash and memories of that man blowing himself up in front of him sent a shiver through his bones, "Those shitheads have sunken really low...So who?"

Trying to lift the mood Kondo-san answered sheepishly, "People who hate you?"

_That's about right._ Okita smiled, "You mean...half of Edo..." But the grogginess was too strong and his eyelids were heavy, sleep was calling him and before long his head rolled slightly on the left. How many hours? He had no clue and now opening them was a struggle. The Commander hadn't moved from his chair and looked the same, with awful bags under the tired eyes, although it didn't seem Sougo was passed out for that long.

Kondo-san was staring sharply, "You were calling after Mistuba-dono in your sleep." He froze, embarrassed. This wasn't something he wanted to be public knowledge and he loathed the idea of showing any form of weakness in front of that man...

"I wish you could tell me about these things, I'm not only your Commander."

Sougo turned his head in the opposite direction, staring at nothing, his eyesight still clogged, "That's enough for me."

"Say it only once then...it's just the both of us here...say it to get it of your chest."  _Gorilla, don't do this to me...I'm weak right now._

"I'm bushi..."

"Sougo."

His jaw clenched, "I'm a killer."

"No. You kill, but you're not a killer."

Kondo-san naivety knew no end. "All the same...I'm... _we're_ different..."

"Toshi isn't a killer either."

That was the last straw, Sougo glared back at him, "I don't want to go there or talk about him...let a dying man have his peace."

But the Commander only grinned devilishly, his fist knocking lightly on his head, "Baka...you're not dying!"

"Ouch...mah Kondo-san...so mean..."

"Love can be painful." Of course Gorilla wouldn't stop here, "But...think about it this way, it gave her precious memories and a feeling of plenitude."

Sougo inhaled deeply, anger rising, that man was too persistent and so unfair, using this one time chance to torment him. Okita had had his share of wounds over the years as the first squad Captain of the Shinsengumi, but none of them were even remotely as worse as those. And the last time he had felt so helpless was three years ago, in that same hospital. The last time he had cried. "It ruined her life, remember how many times she refused other men...plaguing her best years and when finally... _finally_..."

"I know."

"She waited and waited...dammit..." Why couldn't he stop talking?  _Stop already..._ Drugs and everything...almost dying a few hours ago. He tried harder and swallowed the lump in his throat, fighting back the tears.  _Kondo-san, I hate you right now..._  "Sometimes I'm angrier at her than him, to let herself be a slave of those feelings...I won't be like this...And yet, in the end, I can't fault her..." 

_Because nobody can control that._

"I know..."

It was useless, his body was failing him and he felt it, slowly rolling down his cheek, "Then don't talk about it ever again."

 

_**o-o-o** _

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Gintoki looked around and spotted the direction of the voice. He was leaning against the iron railing, smoking and surrounded by snow. The silver ronin approached carefully, the dog might bite, "Same question."

Hijikata let out a long breath instilled with nicotine, avoiding eye contact. "I fuckin' hate hospitals..."

That roof again, last time was... _Ah! That's right, last time was spicy and teary_...

"You?" Now Hijikata was glaring at him.

He sighed mockingly, still walking to the railing. Edo enveloped in a white coat was always worth the sight, "An alien hunter bald man came out of nowhere to steal my-"  _daughter..._  "Employee..."

"Doesn't explain why you're  _here_."

"My employee-ward came to see yours."

Hijikata crossed his arms on his chest; apparently the view didn't interest him. "He's twenty one. An adult."

Gintoki gritted his teeth, "Yeaah...'bout that, don't remind me, will ya?"

"Tch..." The only reply for a while, both were lost in their thoughts and strangely both devoid of the urge to bicker or fight. After some time, when the cold threatened to paralyze his tongue, Gintoki talked again and it wasn't without purpose.

"Now...see there's something I've always wanted to ask..." No reaction, he kept going, it was more than possible Hijikata wasn't even listening. "It's about life altering events...or unavoidable destiny. I don't believe in that crap. Everyone makes their own. Whether it's the right path or the wr-"

"Stop babbling. Your point?"

Gintoki smiled, "Alright...if, let's say...a certain lovely, lovely woman you and me both knew,  _you_  mostly, with a disturbing fondness for reddish spicy things...if she had, at that time...how to say...? One more month...or week...or even only one more day left..." He knew he was completely out of line, but went on nonetheless, bold and nosy, Yorozuya...perhaps helpful in a twisted way. He was also one hundred percent positive, minus one, the punch was coming next, but Gintoki was a total sadist after all and dropped the bomb, "…would you have married her?"

Hijikata's distant gaze and face were half covered by black bangs, his body stiffed and unflinching. But no fist, no yelling, nothing came and he started his walk to the staircase, "Guess we'll never know."

"Oi! Is that a-" The slamming door resonated in the freezing night, screaming like a strong 'yes'. Something the demonic Vice-Commander couldn't afford saying aloud and Gintoki knew too well why. There were things in life you hadto keep to yourself and Gintoki didn't even deign addressing the dark sky overlooking Edo, even if he also had something to brood over, alone on a hospital roof. His days as a guardian were coming to their end, something inevitable; he always knew that his wards would make their own way sooner or later. This, or they would actually return to their original nest.

"Mah...what a shitty New Year's Day."

 

_**o-o-o** _

The moment she entered the room his heart became heavy, she stared at his reddened eyes, but said nothing about it and Kondo-san slipped out with a laugh and went on directly greeting a grumpy man in the hall. His blood froze at the sight of the alien hunter, but when his eyes fell on the unusually quiet girl, he forgot that new development, or chose to.

A confrontation with the biological father seemed unavoidable in the near future and shits were pilling up.  _Just great_. She was wearing two long braids; he smirked at this incongruity because girlish looks didn't suit her anymore. And his male instinct couldn't help thinking for a second that he should have gone all the way on that full moon night. "You look like Sheeta, nooo...Baba Dola, that's more like it."

Her face immediately transformed into that characteristic scowl, "Like hell! And you...you're...no, Pazu is nice and gentle. You're worse than Muska, it fits you well!"

Sougo stretched his arm with difficulty, speaking was easy thanks to morphine and other stuff, it was a little more complicated for the rest. She came closer even if her face still showed confrontational feelings and he managed to pull on one braid, playfully. "Alright, _not_ Lusheeta Toel Ul Laputa...I prefer Kiki anyway." Still quiet, she was observing the wound then his face again, probably boiling inside, wanting to know if he had cried because of the pain. He did, but not from physical pain and he wasn't ready to let his guard down with her or anyone else besides Kondo-san. Then, her umbrella caught his attention.

It was red and brand new. "You changed the color again...are you  _that_ inconsistent?"

Sighing and rolling her eyes she sat on the bed with little care for his comfort, hiding the weapon of almost mass destruction behind her, "No! That Baldi is an annoying old man, that's all." She lowered her head, eyes fixated on the white sheet, uneasy and so obvious about it, "I'll explain later."

"Why not now?" He wanted to know.

"Because it's a long story."

"I have time."

She avoided his stare and stuck to it, "It's a present..." That's all, she won't say more.

Sougo didn't insist, it was useless, he knew the extent of this kind of stubbornness because he shared the same. Instead, he grabbed the umbrella and held it firmly between his hands curiously intact from the blast. His katana laid on the other side of the bed, Kondo-san had always known him best, and no doubt the man put it here. He drew it enough for the blade to be free, and then he pressed his thumbs on it until it bled.

"HEY! What the...are you mental?"

But Sougo continued his ritual and raised his hand over the umbrella, red drops falling on one single place, the blood forming a dot. When it becomes dry and invisible, only  _they_  alone will know about its existence.

"Why did you do that?"

She looked at him with astonishment, perhaps even apprehension; he pressed his hand against the sheet to stop the flow, still not looking at her, his face closed. Mastering that wall was his greatest asset along with his swordsman skill and it allowed him to hide his turbulent state.

_I'm beyond insane._ "Commitment."

He knew he shouldn't and almost instantly regretted the word. And the gesture too. Exhaustion, drugs, pain...were all responsible for his lack of insight... _Who I am kidding?_

Commitment. This, however, wasn't a lie.

And the earth still spinned like it should because it was all too fitting that he got himself a nutty girl. She grabbed his sword before he could stop her and then, undoing her right braid, she cut a handful of vermilion hair with it and bangs fell back on her forehead. Next she was making a vermilion knot around the hilt of his katana.

And that kind of defeat was less painful to take.

"Oi China...I know who you look like."

She struggled with the knot, hair lacks elasticity and the view was becoming comical, "Diaochan, the most beautiful woman ever?"

"Don't get carried away...I told you before, you're a dragon."

Finally done and she grinned with satisfaction, gazing at her awful masterpiece, how was he supposed to draw that blade now? "I prefer to be a bird...or Mononoke Hime!"

"She-wolf? Fine by me."

Their eyes finally met and a light blush graced her cheeks, "Baka gaki, so gullible."

"Right back at ya."

He was tired again, his attention span was getting slower... _Too much talking..._ But before falling into limbo again he caught her fiery blue stare and saw a warning or a plea, he couldn't tell, "Never do that again."

But that was another promise Okita Sougo couldn't make and the reason why of all this was doomed.

_This._

A painful, beautiful, ineffable bond.

 


	13. Getsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Go is a strategic board game with black and white pieces, the objective is to surround more territory than one's opponent. 'Atari' is like 'Check' in Chess.  
> -Haiku by Chiyojo

**Winter Stories, Part Four**

* * *

"Define... _desire_."

His eyes were calmly set on his target, although that sort of concentration wasn't all that remarkable given the incredibly uneven positions. The young woman took her time to carefully think of the answer as much as she could. "Uh...lust, with feelings."

He tilted his head to the left, re-thinking of where to place the stone, "Hmm...Not bad."

She grinned inwardly, that was something she picked up from a TV show a few years ago, just before Gin-chan had changed the channel and sent her to bed, and it curiously stuck in her memory. Her useless slacking around was finally paying off.

The white round object settled on its mark, "Define  _eroticism_."

"Oi! I haven't played yet, you wacko!" Angrily, she placed her piece on the right corner, at random and it was supposedly a safe move, that's when his stare pierced through her soul.

"Don't be a sore loser, you can  _show_  me if you prefer."

She slowly smirked like a demon while showing...her fist. He retorted with a sly grin on his own face while pointing at the grid. She looked down, puzzled, and he sighed because beginners are a pain in the ass and a bore to play with, "Atari."

 _Grrr_..."AGAIN?"

Yes, it was...and she remained still, fist hanging in midair. Kagura hadn't lost so many fights in a row since... _since..._ Sougo snapped his fingers before her eyes, "Ain't life a bitch? Sooo... _eroticism."_

_I hate that bastard so much..._

In her most daring daydreams, eroticism had many scents and even more colors, all belonging to that man entrapped in bandages hidden under his yukata. There were too many ways to describe that word and her ego relentlessly knocked on her skull;  _don't tell him, don't you dare tell him..._

"Lost in space, China?"

She shut her eyes for a second.  _Space..._ This seemed to amuse him, although there's no doubt the level of cockiness had dropped during his recovery. He was slightly less sadistic. A tiny, tiny bit less. Something that will inevitably lead to an increase of...She breathed out exasperatedly... _eroticism._

She risked a peek at his delicate yet masculine features and the rest of his body too, relieved that he wasn't looking. This was the first time she's seen him this casual, and no, a hospital drug-induced sleepy gaze didn't count _...Eroticism is..._ She blinked _,_ he had muttered something during her reverie and she didn't catch it.

"Huh?"

His voice was detached, even cold, "Moonflowers in bloom - When a woman's skin - Gleams through the dusk."

Cold and yet...it was about... _Wha'?_  Her eyelids fluttered, "Repeat."

He did not. On purpose.  _Less sadistic my a**!_  And he was still staring at that stupid game, enthralled by his own strategic genius; she agreed to play in the first place because she had no choice and Kagura fumed internally. She still hadn't told him about tonight, about the rest either.  _Space_...She was staying here, the whole night, in his Shinsengumi room. The reason being that to her utmost surprise, the plan actually had worked...

 

Few days ago, she had reached her breaking point. For almost a month now, her Papi was living at the Yorozuya flat. He was always around and it was suffocating. She had felt his looming presence and silent questioning about her future, about her odd haircut, about everything. The worse of it was that he constantly denied being the typical intrusive father and was actually quite outraged by any of her legitimate reproach.

He needed her, she gets it. And this is all there was about it. Quite simple.

But he had lied to her face on New Year's Day, a family day. And before Gin-chan too, who hadn't said a word about it and acted like nothing was happening, like nothing was disturbing their fragile, messy, patched-up family. "You piss me off, Baldi..." She slammed the sliding door behind her with no intention of coming back anytime soon. Papi had lied about the injury, it was less dramatic than the tale he told them, he lied to get her sympathy or whatever messed up reason adults come with to try rectifying their crappy parenting.

As if she needed that sort of bullshit to understand his loneliness...

Kagura had found a refuge where even a powerful Yato like Umibōzu couldn't go to without creating massive trouble. At least she would have peace for a few days and maybe she would stop avoiding the elephant in the room.

"Kyah! Kagura-chan! Who? Tell me who!"

"Well..." She had fidgeted awkwardly; it had been months since they saw each other, months since Soyo-chan had been locked again behind the Palace's high oppressive doors because of the sudden increase in bombing incidents, "That's a long story..."

After that, her best girlfriend pressed relentlessly until she spilled the beans. The story was punctuated with "Kyah!" and "No way, really? Okita-kun? How strange..." and concluded with, "Hmm...not that surprising after all. Oh! Is he a good kisser? Tell me! Please tell me!"

Kagura had been able to stay for three days at the Palace thanks to Soyo-chan and her new gained independence since she was eighteen. Nevertheless, one liberty will always be denied to the Princess; her free will in love matter, even harmless flirting was out of the question.

The last night of her 'vacation,' after nonsensical babbling, she talked about it again, "You're so lucky, Kagura-chan...I'm envious...How does it feels to be loved?" Soyo-chan might be a true sadist, but she asked with a genuine smile and shining eyes and the Yato felt blessed to have such a friend. That was when a plan was formed in her head and the ever so roguish Shogun's sister accepted with delight to be her cover. Soyo phoned Gin-chan the morning after, lying through her teeth and it worked.

Kagura craved to see  _him_  because she also wished to know what it feels like to be loved...

 

"I'm waiting."

She hadn't seen the gaki often during this awkward period; in fact she'd only seen him very very few times, seven to be exact. And now that obnoxious bland voice reminded her of where she was and also why she was here _._ She had illegally trespassed through that stupidly unguarded shitty tax robber wall just to be with that asshole. But the more she thought about it, the more obvious it was, it perspired all over him, she could sense the distance even if he hid it. Okita Sougo, a hypocrite with double standards, who was pretending that it's alright for her be in this room, that he didn't mind...and again she didn't know how things went this way.

She almost felt like an intruder.

He fixated her with that arrogant smirk, how many times did she have to endure this? Had she lost her backbone en route from the Palace?

 _Like hell!_  With a quick move, she brushed aside the black and white stones all around the tatami, destroying the game, strategy wasn't her thing after all. Of course he didn't react. And instead of anger she felt a dejected helplessness.  _What am I doing here? This is such a mess..._ her mind, heart and mood...everything had been in shambles since she left home.

The men of her life continued to be an endless source of disappointment.

She quickly looked aside, wanting to cry, but tried not to, and her eyes fell on a katana with a vermilion hilt.

 _A mess_...her sight got misty and she felt pathetic. But before dark ideas could settle and dampen her mood for good, she saw it, his extended hand and here's her chance, now or never…Instinctively, she took it.

He dragged her swiftly close to him, she sat on his lap, her head reposing on his shoulder, and this was their first intimate contact in weeks. Her heart pounded so hard, it was strange to readjust to his warmth, his touch, his whole presence. And the only thing that passed through her mind was 'Why?' Why didn't he do that from the beginning? The instant she had stepped in his room.

Her hand clutched into a fist around the sleeve of his yukata, "Sometimes…I really don't get you."

A small laugh escape his lips, it was near her ear and it tickled, "You and me both."

"You should be complementing me...nobody saw me."

"I did."

"Stupid gaki...stupid booby trap!"

Another laugh, the more he did that, the more  _distance_ faded and the more she tightened her embrace.

"Oi China, your sore loser-ness has reached new levels, get ov-" She silenced him with a heated kiss.

It was almost like their first, before they shared tender gestures and sensual looks. But it wasn't, that ship had sailed a long time ago. She didn't even remember the time when he wasn't constantly on her mind. She broke it, reluctantly, only to be able to fully see his striking face. Those eyes, that scar and more. He wanted to say something, but she pressed a finger before her smiling lips to shush him, "Don't ruin it..."

She felt the flush coming on her cheeks as she tried to disrobe him and the burning got worse when he started undoing the top of her qipao.  _Of course he would…_ But he struggled too and that's a surprise, they're both nervous and she wondered if it was the distance he had set between them earlier, using Go as a retreat, it wasn't because he knew exactly why she came. But that train of thought melted away when he gave her a quick kiss; pressing, but tender at the same, "No need to blush now."

Easy to say, they were both bare chested now. With a rare delicacy he took a lock of her long hair then dropped it carelessly, it overlapped on her left breast, and his hand was just barely touching as if it might burn his skin.

It was uncharted territories and she panicked, suddenly holding him harshly without a second thought for his wound, pressing again his torso until the electrifying sensation of their flesh didn't scare her anymore, until it wasn't foreign anymore, until it was the most natural thing to feel. And when his hand slid on her back, the tensed weight that was accumulated on her shoulders disappeared, erased instantly by that callous palm.

But not for long. He pulled on her hair violently, "It's great that you're all passionate, but-" His voice sounded menacing, she could also feel his stiffed body and when turning slightly to face him...he also  _looked_  the part.

Right now, snapping his neck seemed like the  _natural_  ending to this, but he went on, "-first degree murder during intercourse won't be pretty on your CV."

 _What the...? That jer_ \- She froze, eyes widening and finally realized. She immediately relaxed the muscles of her legs and saw relief washing over his face, he also breathed better and winced too when she shifted.

Okita glared fiercely, "SM play has rules and there's no way in hell I'm gonna be the weak part."

She slapped him, hard, "No way in hell there's gonna be 'play'. Period. You pervert piece of shit!"

He gritted his teeth then tried giving a smile, a failure, it's a sadistic rictus, "Now...who's ruining it,  _Kagura_?"

She almost hit him, but controlled herself at the last second, because that manipulator asshole had chosen this exact moment to call her by her name for the first time since they met.  _Unbelievable_! And the worst of all were the kisses and soft touches that weighted more in the balance, even if the other side tried its best to catch up.

They glared endlessly, stubborn to the core, half naked and very much longing to kiss and strangle each other equally.

 _Grrr_... _She_  came here. It was her choice, her will and she'll do what she wanted. She slammed her fist on the tatami, "Rule number one: no hair pulling and anything violent or I'll cut your balls...just...just tell me if I go overboard."

His eyes narrowed with a conceited enjoyment, "Number two: no slapping and anything violent or no sex at all."

She snorted, "As if..." She was pretty sure that it was an empty threat. Lowering her gaze, she looked at what was hidden under his cloth. But he didn't depart from that arrogance, hence to make her point she reached for it, but he caught her wrist with a smack and blazing eyes, "Number three: except the two above-" And then, he gently placed her hand where she intended, "-no rules."

She pulled away, blushing even more. And he smirked even more.  _I'll win this..._ "Number four-" She shoved him on the tatami, her last violent action. His head smashed on lost black and white stones while a vermilion cascade fell around his face, mixing with the sandy color of his hair, blending together like a protective curtain. Her voice grew softer, "-no useless talking anymore..."

She was watching carefully as his mask slipped, revealing the infinity of emotions behind that raw, deep crimson gaze and Kagura felt bold enough to decide at this moment that she will abandon herself completely. Because if she doesn't, tomorrow and the days after will only be filled with futile regrets.

Because she's not a girl of half-assed feelings.

Under her own intense stare, he stroked her strange-shape bangs, and then caressed everywhere impatiently, but also smoothly, something she had to learn too. And even if she was clumsy, shy and unpolished...it didn't matter, for he didn't care either.

 _Desire_  has no definition.


	14. Archery is a Gentleman's Game

  **Winter Stories, Part Five**

* * *

 

The empty glass clinked as the sulking man put it on the bar counter, "Otose-san...another one, please."

She had seen many of those sulking faces over the years, yet this one was particularly pitiful, "You shouldn't drink so much. Have you seen what hour it is? It's unhealthy for an old man like you."

"I'm not that old..."

She crossed her arms over her chest and the bottle remained untouched, it's ridiculous how predicable men can be; watching empty glasses like they're holding hidden truths about life.

"Why do children have to grow into an incomprehensible pain in the ass?"

"Tsk! Teenage years are the toughest, it'll pass eventually."

"You've never had children, have you?"

She sneered, "Biology has nothing to do with parenting. I did my share of it over the years and I'm still doing the job for half of the lost souls that come into my bar."

He sighed dejectedly, "My son chopped my arm off…"

That was indeed a tough one and not a good indication of how that man had raised his kids, but she kept her thoughts to herself, no need to kick a man when he's already down.

"My daughter ran away to another planet…"

It was her turn to sigh now; she had heard that story more than once, and in unnecessary detail: that girl could boast when she wanted too! Otose shook her head because the lazy bum certainly wasn't helping, encouraging her also unnecessarily.  _'Marketing is key for our business, my poster girls need to look badass and people need to know about it.'_ Of course, Gintoki had been on the receiving end of her best glare and a slap behind the head.

Parenting grown-up men, she never signed up for this.

The door slid open and a familiar young man stood there, scanning the room. She didn't like it, anticipating what was going to happen next.  _I should leave now_. But he approached nonchalantly; a strange weapon hanging on his shoulder, then he sat next to the alien hunter. She eyed them suspiciously. Umibōzu clenched his teeth, still glaring at the empty glass while the young man stared at her blankly. "Yakult please, bātendā."

"Humph! You impudent brat..."

Umibōzu was still sulking and still captivated by emptiness, he suddenly pushed away the glass while remaining composed, "Same."

The older man's voice was tense, but she served them nonetheless, without a word, only glancing occasionally. Then she lit a smoke. The atmosphere was tense too and silence settled with both men drinking, she was calmly observing them, like a hawk.

The young officer finally spoke with an inappropriate cheerful voice, "Oji-saan-" He pulled out a grey plastic bottle out of his Shinsengumi uniform, "Have you heard about that new hair loss shampoo?"

The world froze and the ashes of Otose's smoke fell on the counter...

 

_**o-o-o** _

Since Yamazaki happened to be in the area, since Yamazaki was on a lunch break, since Yamazaki was always around on lunch break anyway... he had resumed to his former addiction, as if anpan wasn't enough? He had relapsed four months ago and Tama-san was again at the center of his existence.

Yamazaki had been exhausted after four years of silent suffering and dashed hopes, so today he had finally made his big decision. The trigger? It was someone he believed to be the last person to inspire such bravery, someone who could only inspire an uncontrolled fear. It didn't matter, Yamazaki will do it.

He approached his favorite spying spot, that precious tool for stalk-  _NO!_...for a man in love! His head was close to the hole and he looked...but retracted immediately.

_No...no...Please not today...of all days..._

Yamazaki slammed his head against the wall. This wasn't the man he wanted to see  _here_  and  _now_  during his precious lunch break, his only chance to...to... _Argh_ _!_

Okita Taichou. No, Okita Taichou and his  _bow_. The man who makes the Marquis of S. smiling in his grave on regular basis; the man who succeeded where Kondo Kyokouchou and he had failed so miserably; the man who got himself a girlfriend in a matter of weeks…Yamazaki was boiling inside…trying not think about it because that man was the inspiration of his bravery: and this inspiration made Yamazaki decide to propose  _today_.

But...the sadist was without a doubt sitting in Otose-san's bar, with his bow and… _Argh_ _!_  Arrows. Metallic arrows.

With his injuries, the strain on Taichou's shoulders was too much of a hindrance for his bazooka, so he had traded it for archery to exercise his marksman skills. Needless to say, three weeks had been enough for him to be a complete master of it and… _Argh_ …Yamazaki couldn't believe he actually missed the rocket launcher! At least there was a beep just before the impact and a red laser at night. That's how Hijikata Fukuchou managed all these years, he could anticipate. Not much luck now and the arrows were flying all around the Shinsengumi barracks, leaving cross-shaped tiny holes on the wood and in Fukuchou's room. Needless to say, Fukuchou was more than pissed, but Kyokouchou was so enthusiastic about Taichou and his archer skills that he wanted to enroll him for the national championship...and...

And that's why the sadist trained, day and night.

Yamazaki dared another look, Tama-san wasn't there and his heart clenched... _but...but...What's going here?_  The bastard sadist was immersed in an enthusiastic chat with an old man at the bar, someone that looked oddly familiar...Sure enough, Otose-san didn't look happy at all, but both of them seemed to get along very well...and... _oh my_...Taichou was even smiling while the other was reading a label on a bottle...

And that's when Yamakazi realized that he was doomed. Okita Taichou turned his head and was staring right at him or more like staring right at his eyes...and he smirked evilly...

It was too late. Faster than light, the bowstring relaxed...death was coming in the form of an arrowhead...Yamazaki stepped back, but the impact was harsh, right on the head...he crashed into the trash bags.

But death didn't come...he touched his bloodless forehead, the suction cup saved him, but not really because poor Yamazaki had to spend the next hour trying to pull it out...and his lunch time was ruined, the proposal too. And it was all because the sadist Taichou had put super glue on it.

 

_**o-o-o** _

"Well...Okita-kun, see you later," A nod and that old stupid man slid the door shut, still clutching the bottle in his hand.

The young officer turned to face Otose, unfazed, and pointed behind him, "Oba-san, I think you have holes in the wall."

But Otose didn't care about that moron Yamazaki just now, "I can't believe you tricked him like that."

"Against a Yato you gotta use your brain."

"And what was that lotion exactly?"

"Bonsai fertilizer."

She shook her head, "You are worse than Sakata."

"My...thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment, baka!"

"Mah...that went well...but I'm not sure about tonight though."

Her glare narrowed, "You should be worried indeed."

He smirked lightly, "I'm up for the challenge."

"Tsk!

Suddenly, the door crashed open and predictably, the Yato girl stumbled in, she rushed to her so-called boyfriend, grabbed his collar, shook him and screamed like a banshee, "What did ya talk about gaki!? ANSWER ME! What did ya do? Papi's all cheery! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!"

Ensued an endless back and forth, they traded insults and death glares...and on and on...But Otose remained unperturbed, this was routine. She smoked, patiently waiting for the verbal storm to pass. And yet, the sharp lady noticed something. It might not be obvious for many people, but if one knew those two then it was clear as water. She watched from the corner of her eyes, the way they interacted was different; it was something in the air and the way they looked at each other.

She breathed out smoke, "Do you really believe you can fool him?"

They both stopped their bickering and stare in her direction, she looked puzzled; him not much, lowering his gaze.

"What do you mean, Ba-chan?"

"You are so obvious about it...and he is your father, he'll do notice." The girl didn't get it the first and it irritated the landlady, "Kagura, it's written all over your face. Stop blushing every time that idiot stares at you!" She nodded to the Shinsengumi kid and this time it sank because the young woman was beyond embarrassed and next thing she's red from tip to toe.

But Kagura was still courageous and held Otose's scrutinizing look, "So what!?"

She smoked again, "So nothing...I don't care as long as you're responsible with it."

"I am."

"Good."

Okita pointed at his alien girlfriend, " _She_  brought the condoms."

That earned him a rightful Yato punch on the jaw and he fell on the ground with a loud noise. Otose had met enough perverted fools strolling in her bar to not be surprised, but the next action curiously did. Instead of beating the shit of him, the girl clapped her hand together and bowed, "Ba-chan, please! Don't tell anyone, please?"

_Love blinds us all._

"Tsk! Don't call me like that...the youths nowadays..."

"Pretty please?"

She sighed, obviously this day couldn't go on without her sighing every ten seconds at the silliness of that odd extended family, "Of course I won't tell, baka girl."

Kagura smiled widely, her eyes shining, "Thanks, thanks...I owe you one."

"You sure do."

The moron finally emerged, stroking his bruise, "Mah...I deserved it I guess."

Otose sneered again, "You think?"

But his attention wascnow elsewhere, that brat sure  _wasn't_  blushing while watching his girl and he dropped the indifference and self-restrain too, stealing a kiss, "I have to go...Dinner's tonight, China. Don't be late."

The girl sure was surprised by that, "HEH?!"

"Don't get your hopes up, I'm never gonna take you on a date. But Gorilla has been bugging me about it for weeks."

"What're ya talking about?"

"You, me, Kondo-san...and your father. Dinner."

The Yato became instantly paler than usual, she even had difficulties forming a coherent sentence, "...No...that's...wait...no way..."

He smirked smugly, "Too late." And gave her an arrow, he then pushed her hand and the object on her chest, near her heart.  _As I thought, a pervert just like the others..._ Kagura didn't get the meaning, probably over-thinking about what he just told her. He chuckled seeing her spacing out like this and stole another kiss, leaving quickly after, "...See ya."

"Wait, you bastard!"

 _Too late indeed._ Gone.

Kagura sat on the next chair, looking like she was ready to hit her head against the counter. After a while she lifted her glare to the only remaining human being in the bar, because she knew Otose had something to say, "What?"

"I'm just curious-" The lady stubbed out the smoke in the ashtray, "-why haven't you told that boyfriend of yours that you're leaving earth?"


	15. The Day After (He)

  
****Winter Stories, Part Six** **

* * *

It was dawn.

His eyelids were heavy, so insanely heavy. They had finally having reached their biological limits. And he had lost it...He should wake her, she had to leave as soon as possible.

_Stupid sun…_

Staring at her body during the whole night, just after making love, was like getting high naturally by just staring. When one is sharing intimate activities with a Yato, there is high risk of this behavior, so of course it was an addictive experience for someone like him. Surely awkward (at first), it also was most definitively nerve wrecking (a first) and truly, truly... _Ah_...there was actually no word to describe it. They say people are attracted to their opposite. It's only partly true, because she can be as sadistic as he is, even if she's profoundly different. She's like Mitsuba and Kondo-san; kind-hearted and naïve.

And it had been funny too. He enjoyed the after as much as the before and the actual. She babbled about stupid stupidity without being boring. He hated chatty girls in bed and even gagged one of his 'exes' when she wouldn't shut it.  _Other girls_...were almost distant memories now; there wasn't even that many to forget in the first place.

They talked about a famous space-hippocampus marathon that she had heard from her dad's many disturbing travels. He talked about the  _O_ _ne Hundred And Many More Ways To Pull A Prank Without Being Caught_ , his unwritten masterpiece. Beetles were still a taboo subject or else he gets a "You're never gonna touch me ever again, you heartless pet hater!"

He shook his head, she needed to leave. He needed her to leave. But he didn't want to wake her…just yet. Sougo forced himself to shake away his sleepiness; ten more minutes wouldn't change anything at this point…But that was the precise moment when...

"YAMAZAKIIIIIII!"

The habitual began…and doors shut with Zaki running and men laughing and…

"SOUGOOOOOOOO!" Hijikata-san was still predictable, but Okita hadn't even done anything yet, the bomb was set for 6 h 45 and it was only 6 h 33.

That last shout was all it took for her to finally twitch her eyebrows and roll on her back, offering an interesting view while doing it, "Shinpachi, it's too early-aru…Mommy's dreaming…"

He smiled, "Wrong guy."

Her eyes finally opened. She blinked several times until she realized where she was, "Hey…"

"Morning." She looked very pretty and very sleepy, but he really,  _really_  needed her to leave. Sougo handed her the qipao, "We're not supposed to bring hobos here, especially women at night."

She sat up, puffy eyed but not shy.  _Go figure_. He looked away while she dressed.

"So, I'm a woman now?"

"Definitively."

She was grumpy, "I should kick your ass..."

"Why?"

She glared at him, "I was a woman yesterday too, you sexist bastard!"

"Now, now...it's only been two minutes since you awoke and you're already in full-mouth mode...such a turn off."

"You look like shit."

"Why thanks! My sweet, sweet vermilion slug."

"No, seriously."

He shrugs, "Couldn't sleep."

"I'm hungry."

"How surprising."

She wasn't in a hurry, so he took it upon himself to help her. She blushed and adverted her gaze, "We did things yesterday."

He smirked wickedly, "We even did things today."

"Don't look so smug."

He looked smug, he knew that much, "I'm a guy and I just got laid."

She almost did it, but her morning sluggishness was helping and he blocked her wrist, "Oiii...Chinaa...no violence, remember?"

She managed to glare fiercely while also looking disappointed, "You ain't gonna tell me something nice, bastard?"

He stared blankly, "No."

And time was suspended until the explosion rang out...KABOOOOOOOM!

"Aah...That's the diversion."

"OKIIIIITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 _Damn, still alive_. He sighed, "Welcome to the madhouse."

After that, he pushed her out of his room and dragged her to the entrance while everybody was busy attending to the fire and that man who wouldn't die. They shared a quick goodbye from the distance, she waved her small yet so strong hand and he stupidly did the same while cursing to himself for not kissing her.

Today was supposed to be the first day of his return at work. He had a month to think things through, thoroughly. Okita leaned against the wall, his mind was more exhausted than his sleepless body... _"_ _Hahaha...Sougo, she's nothing like Mitsuba-dono..."_ Kondo-san's voice echoed in his head, it had done so for the last couple of weeks; Kondo-san who had pinpointed the exact source of everything. He didn't want to face it; he had built a wall around him. He thought that having a life outside the Shinsengumi was forbidden because he had forbid it. He thought that it was betrayal, Mitsuba had sacrificed a large part of her life for his sake and he abandoned her without looking back...to be a Bakufu dog. Now a simple remark by his Commander had shattered his certitudes. It was during his first try with a bow and Okita Sougo was a very stubborn person, he hates archery and yet he swore he would master it. That's how obstinate he is.

It was  _something_  for him to get his certitudes challenged.

This girl is nothing like Mitsuba, this girl fights her own fights, fights against men. She doesn't fit 'normalcy,' he doesn't either. And instinct made him act upon it in the hospital bed; he committed himself to her with words and blood while his mind wanted to cast her aside.

What if he had been wrong all along? What if Hijikata had been wrong too? What if Mitsuba was strong enough to take the violence, the absence and she wasn't afraid of the idea of becoming a widow? What if that unwritten rule that the swords of the Shinsengumi couldn't and shouldn't have a family was only self-deception?

And yesterday he tried again, pushing her away one last time, but she destroyed the invisible wall while destroying the Go game.

 _What the fuck I am thinking?..._ _I'm only twenty one._

His voice murmured in the chilly February morning, "Mah, time to meet the real dad..."


	16. The Day After (She)

**Winter Stories, Part Seven**

* * *

 

When she peeked one last time over her shoulder, his hand was still waving lazily and she instantly regretted not punching his shitty face...really, that face; no matter how handsome it was, it was just begging to be damaged, right? Because even with his sleepy gaze, a lingering smile and black rings under the eyes, he could still look so incredibly smug.

_Pfft..._

She turned on her heels and walked faster, tightly clutching the umbrella that wore his invisible blood stains while the chilling air was biting her flushed cheeks; there was no way that he would ever see her embarrassment and that other feeling that was slowly growing inside her.

Sadaharu was waiting at the corner of the street. That startled her for a few seconds. How did he know she was here? She panicked, but obviously no one else could know...the beast followed her scent, probably missing her. She missed him too and rushed to hug him, whispering sorry for leaving him behind a few days earlier.

And it was exactly what she needed.

She brought this upon herself and it made her decision even more hurtful. She had jumped into this and forced that new intimacy without thinking too much about the consequences, but there were still no regrets involved about what happened few hours ago. Her present restless state only confirmed what was tormenting her for so many days...the split in her heart.

Even before her Papi came back here, she had those dreams and that uneasiness looming over her like a constant reminder of who she really was. She had felt her strength getting broader and more powerful over the past two years. How did she manage until now without killing? It was like walking on a rope, it wasn't like being fourteen and careless anymore or counting on Shinpachi alone to stop her from going berserk. It frightened her to discover that maybe she could fail her own will with that new power in hand and the more she didn't want to face it, the more it invaded her life indirectly, with unwanted nightmares and unfair mood swings.

She needed to know what she can do with her blood, if she can control her inner demons, she  _must_  discover her limits. It was unavoidable; sooner or later she would leave to space travel no matter what. It was only unfortunate circumstances, hazard or bitter irony that she fell in love at this exact moment.

But control was unnatural to her.

Alone with her head and hands buried in that familiar warm fluffy fur, without his human presence, made it so painful; she wanted to cry. Sadaharu nudged her with his frozen nose, but she didn't react, the wild animal sensed her strange disarray and they stayed immobile for a while. Her heart was beating fast and it ached. It really was an excruciating sort of disease. At first the feeling was bothersome, now it was plainly like having a stroke...or something like that.

This isn't what love should be. She loves many, many people, even that stupid brother deep, deep down. She loved them and that caused heartaches on many occasions; when Papi and Kamui left, when Mami died of sorrow, when Gin-chan sent her away, and every time he does something stupid and ends up half dead.

But love is soft and fulfilling, right? It shouldn't threaten to rip your heart or your whole body apart with only a simple morning goodbye and shinning red eyes.

_Stupid girl full of stupid stupidity..._

It wasn't normal to feel empty and complete at the same time like she is right now. Fusional love means you're  _nuts_! That's what she read in one of Anego's magazine. And for the first time since she woke up, Kagura remembered. It was messy, disordered fresh memories, but also vivid beautiful recollections. She closed her eyes, it was there. She felt and saw everything again and she grabbed a handful of fur for reassurance that this was reality, that she wasn't in that room anymore.

And more stupid thinking about a man's skin against hers or when she didn't feel pain and didn't bleed either, and how that bastard had joked about her gymnastic fighting style being the probable explanation for...this, or that Yato females don't actually have hymens at all. She slapped him of course, breaking rule number three or four or…whatever. And how he had smirked evilly talking about revenge with a rope, chains and a collar and…whatever... _Pfft, full of crap_...He just kissed her ardently and after they talked about other nonsense like spacehorses and other silly stuff until her eyelids closed.

She was cold and Sadaharu stomach growled impatiently, reminding her that she was also hungry. They happily went home, as odd as it might be. She pushed back any sensible thinking during the ride. It was for later.

She has to tell Papi, Gin-chan, Shinpachi and Anego. She made up her mind... _and_...

And she has to ask him if he will wait for her.

 


	17. Ice

 

**Winter Stories, Part Eight**

* * *

The clock indicated that it was 19 h 46 and the seconds were still ticking away, the pointer moving in a slow staccato all around the dial. She could hear the steady and imperturbable tick in her mind. Time was flowing and it didn't care about her, it had a relentless precision and it couldn't be stopped. Soon enough she will have no way out. She will face the shady variables of life head on.

 _Tick, tick, ti-_  "China?"

She jumped and the hubbub of the crowd was suddenly harassing her eardrums. When she lowered her gaze, she faced none other than Okita Sougo. He was staring at her with a puzzled expression; she could even see a concerned shadow veiling his eyes. Earlier, after the initial shock and a push from Ba-chan, she chased after him the whole afternoon, but to no avail. He had vanished like tears in the rain. And now...

"Sougo...Kagura-san!"

That was Gorilla's voice and she knew her papi was already by his side, they were all waiting for her in the middle of the street. How long has she been staring at that stupid clock?  _I must do it now_. She tugged harshly on the sadist's sleeve, "I have something to tell you...come with me!"

She tried to make him move, but he remained anchored to the ground, the tone of his voice was so maddeningly unfazed, as usual. "Are you kidding me?"

She didn't even glance at him and looked abruptly right and left for an easy escape, "Let's go this way-"

"KAGURA! We're freezing our balls here!"

She snapped and glared at the bald man, still desperately clutching the soft fabric of the haori, "SHADDUP! AS IF YA NEED 'EM, OLD FART!"

Dozens of disapproving eyes fell on her and her father simply glared back, he was more annoyed than shocked since he was used to her foul mouth. The gaki too, only Gorilla looked embarrassed.

"Oi, China. I don't mind you two ridiculing and humiliating yourselves in front of decent citizens, but-" He took her hand quickly and dragged her along, "-my balls are freezing too, actually. And I need them, in case you'd forgotten."

"No...No...wait..."  _Please wait..._

He walked rapidly and only glanced over his shoulder once with a smile that melted her will, a smile he rarely gave, "I know you're an airhead, but you ain't baka enough to catch a cold...Hurry up, tonight's my treat."

She could use her strength to make him stop. She could bulldoze her away out of the crowd. But all she did was follow while knowing deep down that it was a terrible mistake.

**_o-o-o_ **

_Tick, tick, tick...Zura's bombs...Why are they in my head?_

"HAHAHAHA..."

_Tick...tick...tick_

_"Kagura-chan, you look so pale."_

"Umibōzu-san..."

_"Shinpachi, are you making fun of me?"_

"...Finally we meet again."

_"No, you're paler than usual...that's all..."_

_It's true...Tick...tick...tick_

"...and what about you Kagura-san?"

She blinked several times before realizing Gorilla's question was about the menu and she immerses herself in the list of fancy dishes, just to keep her mind in check. The gaki was next to her and she shouldn't be surprised, but the fact that he could drink alcohol reminded her that she was the only underage person in the room. Even if the waiter did look smaller than her.

And scared.

He was actually trembling like a leaf, ready to detach itself from a branch, and the way he avoided eye contact was distracting too. That's when she finally felt two heinous pairs of eyes glaring at the poor guy, which could mean only two possibilities: the gaki and baldi were hungry enough to try murder by glaring daggers or...the poor, poor waiter...had been checking her up while she was spacing out.

Kagura crumpled the menu between her hands, almost tearing it apart. She hated those sneaky bastards the most, the ones who looked innocent and well behaved; at least Gorilla and Sa-chan were straight forward about their harassment.  _Sa-chan? Huh...? Why am I even more pissed now...!?_  She glanced at the Shinsengumi captain who was still glaring, then at the mortified waiter again, and she realized that there was a small possibility that this guy wasn't some sort of pervert, that he was just a regular young man and that the gaki was...overreacting. Much like her papi and the other two morons back at home.

Overreacting or maybe jealous?

She forced a sigh, generally speaking it was an annoying fault, and yet the thought indubitably lifted her mood right away. It meant that the sadist  _did_  pay attention to this kind of stuff. She handed the menu like a lady and offered her best smile to the livid man, "Same as the geezer over here with the hair extension."

Bang! His fist slammed on the table, nostrils flaring. "KAGURA! Is this how you treat your old man?!"

She smirked. "Old and bald, just like I said."

"That'll be all, th-" When the anew embarrassed Shinsengumi Commander turned his head to the waiter, the guy was already gone. His next attempt was to try smoothing things up and getting rid of the horrendous strained ambiance, "Umi...Umibōzu-san, haha. Your daughter has turned out to be a rare beauty..."

It was meant to be a compliment and Kagura actually took it that way, because she knew the stalker was still insanely obsessed with Anego, but Kondo Isao's whole body became rigid as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Quickly, he tried the best that he could to repair the damage and luckily for him, Shinpachi and Gin-chan weren't there. "No, no, no...Not in that way...I mean she's following Otae-san steps...all class and elegance...a lady...haha."

Kagura searched for wax in her ear. "Drop it, Gorilla."

"Drop it, Kondo-san."

Umibōzu remained tight-lipped only because he swore to himself to behave in the presence of Edo's special police forces for diplomatic reasons.

"Riiight..." A heavy silence filled the room and Gorilla visibly struggled. At least watching him attempt to break the ice was distracting; Kagura could almost convince herself that she wasn't standing on the edge of the abyss. "Hmm...And when do you plan to travel again?"

"We're leaving soon."

She was stabbed in the chest with those words. How naive of her! They've only been sitting here for fifteen minutes. How profoundly stupid of her for not telling her father. She should have told  _everyone_  and Ba-chan words resonated in her mind, again and again, mingled with a sensation of falling down into that abyss. And no words came out of her mouth.

Gorilla let a gasp escape and directly turned his attention to the gaki, she could feel his stiffed body as he was sitting only inches away from her. The sadist gaki who was thoroughly staring at the colored fusuma in front of him.

 _Tick, tick, tick_...Gorilla's surprised gaze traveled to their faces, "Ah...China-san...Sougo...did you know abou-"

The cup of sake just made contact with the refined lacquer table, "Of course I did."

_This...This is the explosion._

He was lying and Kagura couldn't help but watch the pattern on the table. It was a drawing of the Lake Biwa painted in black and surrounded by golden reeds.

"Ah...Is that so, haha..." Gorilla's laugh was uncertain, "...That's...That's so sudden..."

Gorgeous golden reeds...Reeds bend during a tempest, they don't break.  _I can do that too._

"Not really."

His voice was as cold as ice, or that's what her tumultuous mind told her. The gaki took his cup again, emptying the content. He lied again, while her insides were slowly burning. She was petrified, but she had to look at his face. She lifted her head and her eyes tried to read past the mask he was wearing. That wall she wanted to rip apart.

"I see you two are handling things rather maturely. Good for you, Okita-kun. Sakata-san told me you've always been surrounded by adults and it shows." Umibōzu was scrutinizing them. That damn baldi who was getting signals from her quietness.

"Danna's too kind."

"Well, he also said the adults in question were kinda...kinda..." Her father stopped short, just before blurting out Gin-san's rant about the tax robbers, it was mostly a mash up of colorful insults, even if Kagura thought it was the truth. "More sake, Kondo-san? Kagura, be a lady will you?"

That startled her and she shot him  _the_  glare, "Do it yourself, bald man. I ain't an errand girl."

Finally, those sharp crimson eyes deigned to look at her, "You mean a maid girl?"

"I'm no slave. I'm a modern girl..."

"But you're not a lady either."

"Look who's talking...lazy slacker!"

He smirked lightly. Foolishly, the young woman believed for an instant that everything was right again. "You're proving my point."

"Got a problem with strong-willed women?"

"Not at all. So, which one is it? Girl or woman?" She blushed at the implication and stared at the void, badly wishing that her father wouldn't catch that.

"Hahaha, it's alright. Let's be 'modern', shall we? That Yorozuya and Sougo got along from the start...something about sharing the same hobby...I mean the sadist thing..." And the Gorilla laughed and laughed while her papi drank eagerly, badmouthing Gin-chan was a safe road and creates unbreakable bonds. That and sake obviously, but she didn't think much of their chatting filled with alcohol.

"I'll come back."

She said those words with all the conviction of her heart, but his face showed nothing but determination. About what? She could only try to imagine.

He took her hand firmly into his for no one else to see. Then, driving his attention back to the lively conversation, he didn't look at her anymore and she repeated the sentence at least three times for only them to hear, and four more times in her head.

Gorilla lifted his cup, "Let's have a toast!"

And Sougo didn't disentangle their hands for the whole evening.

**_o-o-o_ **

"Say something."

They were walking side by side on the frozen snow, it had snowed all evening.

"It's freaking cold out here." He watched the indiscernible sky, his face half lit by the street light. This way was a shortcut to the Yorozuya's flat and there was no one else but them. They had split up earlier, with the two older men heading out for Dom Peri and (in Gorilla's case) stalking Anego. "Mah...sake's wearing off."

They were alone together and yet a universe apart. She was irritated and he hadn't uttered a word until she forced him to, "That's all!?"

Sougo walked faster and she had to keep up with her red moon boot. "You've got some nerve being angry at me."  _So that's it, the big talk_. And Kagura was already exhausted; her nerves had been tested all day. No. All this month. Ever since the evening of his near death experience; something that had been a forbidden subject. "No matter...It makes it easier."

"In what way?" She couldn't grasp what was on his mind and that drove her crazy. He was still walking fast as if his whole purpose was to leave her behind.

But he stopped abruptly, "What way?" And then his cold and composed gaze bore into her eyes, "Let's try this: 'I don't want to see you again.'" Kagura didn't react or move at all, she saw the small fog escape his lips as he spoke with that neutral voice, "No...That's not it. 'I don't think we should see each other ever again.' No, wrong again. Aah...wait, found it! 'First loves never last.'"

Her free fist clenched, "What's that bullshit! You're turning this into a joke!?"

"Hardly."

"If you're mad, yell at me! Don't say stupid shit like this..."

He blinked in surprise, "Why should I be mad?"

"What…? Because I lied and-"

"You didn't." And again the young woman struggled to find her words. It was her mess, but he didn't make it easier either. "You didn't lie, that wasn't a lie. You're so easy to read, I should've known better. I should've used my brain instead of fooling around."

Her umbrella was knocked to the ground, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your dad coming here for a month. That umbrella..." He showed it with a nod, "Your mood swings even when you're not on your period." He chuckled disdainfully, "...Those were 'in your face' clues." Now talking to himself, he resumed his steady walk, "Pathetic, Sougo. Astonishingly pathetic."

She couldn't let this catastrophe happen. And without a second thought, she went after him, embraced and kissed him, her hands refusing to let go his face. But when he talked, it all crumbled in an instant, "Do I have to repeat myself?" She raised her eyes to see his burning ones, "I don't want to see your face again."

She was strong, mentally strong, and not a brat anymore. She was strong enough to bear all of this as long as he gets it.

"You thought I would ask you to choose between your father and me?" That startled her. This was an unexpected question, and Kagura was more confused than ever about what was going in his mind.

"No..."

He took her hands off his face, but didn't entirely let go, "Let's try it. Choose."

"Stop that."

"Why? Can't make a decision?"

"I have...I'm leaving! And for a good reason, you heartless bastard, and it has nothing to do with you, Gin-chan or Shinpachi! You have no idea what it's like to be me..." He was going too far and was lucky she hadn't punched him yet, but again her guilt made her endure his cruelty, "You don't know anything about Yatos...Don't you push your luck, gaki...And I'm definitively going in space."

And for the first time since they have been alone tonight, his coldness faded and genuine, shining eyes stared at her. "See? Wasn't that hard."

"But I'm coming back...I'll come back and I...I want..."  _You to wait for-_

"What you want today and what you'll want tomorrow or in six months are worlds apart. I propose one blow now, a clean cut, instead of dragging this thing out until we can't bother to care anymore; while you'll be there and me here. What's worse than falling out of love because I can't see you or hear your voice? I won't bear it. This ends now."

Kagura was shell shocked; he had slipped aside and left like a cat. That bastard just told her he was in love and yet he threw that feeling away at the same time.

She wouldn't bear it either, "That's not true."

He didn't stop.

She turned around and became smaller and smaller as the distance separated them.

"That's not true...I WON'T FALL OUT OF LOVE!"

_Tick...tick...tick_

It wasn't him.

She was the time bomb all along.

And it all happened so fast while her umbrella fell on the snow.

She slammed his head against a nearby concrete wall and clenched her fingers deep into his flesh, nails biting and trying to cut it even harder around his neck. One more push and she could snap the bones, then it'll all over forever...

_Too strong for humans..._

_Too weak for following human rules..._

_"Kagura-chan, you look so pale."_

_"Shinpachi, are you making fun of me?"_

_"No, you're paler than usual...that's all. Don't you think, Gin-san?"_

_"...I think that girl has lots of shitty ideas in her head. She should wear some mascara and foundation to hide the misery instead."_

_"Shut up, you good for nothing NEET with grandpa's hair-"_

_"UNLESS...she's willing to stop acting all tough and be afraid that people will stop caring for her...even if she does kill someone."_

_"GIN-SAN!"_

_"Megane...where's the faith? Of course she won't. Right, Kagura?"_

_Kagura._

"Ka...Kagura..." She felt something warm press on her wrist. It was the palm of his hand...and she let go.

Sougo dropped to the ground, breathing hard and gagging. It was a first to see the Shinsengumi Captain on his knees, trying to inhale the cold air. His eyes were hidden behind thick bangs. In any case, she couldn't see anything but a blurry shape, until he pushed away his scarf and she saw the marks, deep and red. His hand was encircling the trace of the strangulation.

Words were not coming out of her throat; she hadn't any to begin with.

She walked backwards like a drunken man, dazed and without any force left, turning where she could see lights. Then she felt something behind her, he had just grabbed her with a firm hold, one arm around her waist and a hand covering her eyes. She felt her tears dampen his palm and his voice whispered near her ear, it was broken from the strangulation, and her broken heart fell apart if it hadn't already.

"It's not your fault. Don't you dare think that's your fault," She was silent; petrified by her own disgust and the hatred he inspired her. Then that voice gave the deathblow, it had an edge in the way he spoke, but without anger or coldness and without hesitation either. Or tears. "Do you hear me…? You didn't do anything wrong. It's me…It's all on me…Don't waste your time anymore with an asshole like me…"

That's not what she wanted to hear, but she couldn't move an inch, only tears that fell and fell.

"It's nothing."

What was he speaking about? He crushing her heart with each sentence or her having almost killed him? And why was he embracing a monster instead of killing her? But she was wrong; his voice was also broken from sadness and something deeper. She could sense it, it was like a nervous state and Kagura couldn't bring herself to hate him more than she hated herself at this point. She couldn't bring herself to hate him at all.

"Kagura...did you hear me?"

His soft voice was worse than anything, she almost committed the irreparable and instead of leaving this dirty street, stained by her crime, she remained in his arms for an eternity...Or perhaps it was only a fraction of a second. She had lost track of time, and time was her enemy tonight.

"Let me go."

That was her voice, although barely recognizable and his hands clenched on her face and around her waist, his whole body tensed. She knew he was unlike himself too, agitated while she went limp. Those were strange reversed roles. But eventually he released his grip and that was all that it took. She escaped, without looking back.

* * *

_End of Winter Stories_


	18. If Umbrellas Could Feel

 

 

Would they cry too?

Would they...? Not once, but twice...as the cold hand grabbed the object that had been abandoned on the snowy path.

It was shaking, but still firm.

And that night, the red umbrella rested next to a scabbard that also came from another galaxy.

A whisper in the dark, "What happened to Sou-kun...? Hey you! Answer me...Why is he…like this?"

There was no reply.

Umbrellas, as they say, can't talk.

 

 

**_o-o-o_ **

_Hijikata-san,_

_I'm such a great guy. My generosity is beyond your understanding and your stubborn unwillingness to simply QUIT has caused a great deal of trouble. But this is the reality: you're still alive thanks to me. And now you owe me, ungrateful bastard. Remember that I never went so far as to actually end your life for good only for Kondo-san's sake. Payback's a bitch._

_You're not as incompetent in the cleaning as you are with a sword, right? So, here's my mess. Make sure it comes back to its owner._

_And don't forget to jump forwards when the truck passes your way (It's the green one, you won't miss it)...No, don't jump...dive._

_Yours truly only in hell,_

_Okita Sougo_

It was on his desk among the daily files and the note was delicately pinned to it.

"…Tch…"

Okita had never bothered to write something so half-decently readable in his entire life, and yet this letter laid here, a letter that was actually a request. For that brat to get over his pride and ask him anything that wasn't salt, keys, his schedule, what time it was or why he wouldn't 'resign', then something must have happened.

Something that, if Hijikata read right between the lines, Sougo didn't want their Commander to know about. If that was the case, then it could only mean one thing.

Remorse.

An obnoxious feeling that Hijikata knew all too well.

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

The man tore his eyes away from the object after it had been put on the counter, then he looked back silently at his strawberry milk glass.

"Do whatever you want, but don't break his wrists…It actually takes a lot of time that I don't have to find a swordsman like him."

The Yorozuya didn't even glance at him. Hijikata had found him in the bar of his landlady. She was smoking quietly while eyeing the perm-head, trying to read past the dead-fish eyes without success. Silence settled, much to his displeasure. He didn't like being ignored on subjects concerning men of the Shinsengumi.

He was about to leave when he added over his shoulder impatiently, "I'll pretend Yamazaki never told me he saw wounds that weren't from the blast last month. I'm not Kondo-san or Santa. I don't throw out gifts at acquaintances right and left. If that happens again, it's jail time and expulsion."

"Can't you pull that stick out of your ass once in a while?"

The voice was sharp and the landlady glared at him, but Hijikata knew she was talking to the Yorozuya, "Don't start a fight."

The Vice-Commander was pissed. He had circumvented the law countless times in the past regarding this man's actions. The insult wasn't justified in his opinion. But then he noticed Otose's warning behind the glare and it didn't take long to remember that his wards were the rare persons this man would lose his shit over. And again, he thought how much ridiculous the whole thing was: Shinsengumi men that kept getting drawn to these people. Bums, outlaws, cabaret girls, robot maids and Amantos. The whole Kabuki district in fact. It was ridiculously annoying to Hijikata because no matter how much 'they' (meaning he) tried to fit in the Bakufu landscape, the core of the Shinsengumi was also of former bums and outlaws. Two sides of the same coin.

He slid the door, "Don't let anger cloud your judgment. We have better things to do than arresting the lot of you."

"I'm not angry."

That startled him. Why was the Yorozuya bothered now? Hijikata scrutinized him, not that he could see much of his face or decipher what the tensed shoulders meant. In any case, he spoke his mind, what he thought was the truth, "For what it's worth, she's doing quite well…she might be the only Yato that doesn't have blood on her hands."

The silver-haired man finally looked at him with a determined stare and a smirk that seemed to dare anyone to challenge that statement, "She  _is_."

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

"Ha! Gin-san!"

It was crowed and Hasegawa had to shout from across the bar, waving a hand to his friend. The ronin acknowledged him with his dead fish eyes, and it surprised him that they were even more sleepy-like than usual, even hollow. A drunken yakusa suddenly elbowed him in the guts and another crushed his toes. When he finally scrambled to the tiny booth, he saw that Gin wasn't alone.

"I didn't expect you to be here."

"I didn't expect myself to be here to be honest."

Hasegawa couldn't see the young man's face, but he recognized him from the color of his hair, "Hmm…Is that…?…Stray dog?"

Gin stared at him blankly, "Mah…I have a soft spot for stray things, a weakness. Should've trashed him already."

"But he looks…trashed." There were empty bottles of strong alcohol dispatched on the small table.

"Comatose I guess."

"How many?"

"Three…" He nodded, but Gin went on, "Glasses. Kid's a lightweight."

Hasegawa laughed and noticed something peculiar, "Hey, maybe we should rid of that scarf of his. It's hot as hell in here."

"Let him sweat. Hopefully he'll catch pneumonia while going back to the kennel."

"I don't think he's gonna go anywhere anytime soon."

"We'll dump him in the dumpster...no, at Saito's...okamas love bishounen." Then Gin pushed a wallet towards him, "It's your lucky day, Hasegawa. Tax robber cash all for you."

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

Knock, knock...

Umbrellas don't like being knocked on a closet's door.

It's uncomfortable.

Knock, knock...

"Oi...Pachi boy's sleeping on the couch and he didn't brush his teeth. That's not how mommy raised him..."

There was no reply.

"Your papi's still has a hangover in case you wondering...Gotta to hand it to the she-gorilla...She made them pay the hard way."

Silence.

The man sighed and the umbrella felt a strong hand tighten around its hilt. "Gin-san has pachinko-ed your salary away tonight..."

Still nothing but his slow respiration.

"I threw your sukonbu down the toilet...I'm thinking of selling my body, Tsukuyo's gonna be my pimp...Yakusa's life has its good points, I'm gonna start with robbing old people...Wait...No, no, no, I'm gonna join ZURA and the Joui...mah...tha-"

"...onbu..."

The man smiled. Knock, knock. "What d'ya say?"

A muffled voice raised slowly in the semi darkness, "Sukonbu...not in the toilets..."

"I swear it's the truth."

"Liar."

She slid the closet's door far enough for him to see her puffy cheeks and red eyes.

"Grumpy mommy...Sorry, mummy."

But she wasn't listening. Her gaze had fallen to the red umbrella and before she could freeze forever, the man pushed the door wide open and the young woman found herself in his strong embrace. The umbrella knew she was still staring at it.

She was staring at the invisible blood mark, "...I won't fall out of love..."

"Half-assed feelings are for selfish dummies."

After a long while, she spoke again with an uncertain voice, "Gin-chan...How many people have you killed?"

"How many have you?"

"None."

"Then that's all that matters."

 


	19. Hunter

 

 

**Spring Stories, Part One**

* * *

_"What are you doing, boy?"_

_The quick and sharp red eyes glared right away and the tiny crinkle between them was enough to get the silent message: Are you stupid, geezer?_

_"Haha...I'm an idiot, of course...So what is it?"_

_"I don't know yet. And it's Sougo, not 'boy'."_

_"You want some help with the drawing?"_

_Sougo shrugged and Kondo crouched before the childish scribbling on the sand, the shape of it resembled a familiar animal, but the young man was only observing the concentrated boy._

_"Why don't you come at the dojo to play?"_

_"I don't like to play...it's for kids."_

_"What about fighting against me?"_

_The bright red eyes widened with interest and stared, "With a real sword?"_

_"Hahaha...no, no." Sougo looked disappointed and Kondo prompted quickly, "Not at first anyway."_

_"Are you a samurai?"_

_"Not yet...my family and I are peasants. But you are the son of a samurai, right? "_

_He shifted awkwardly, "Yeah, but we don't care about that."_

_"Mitsuba-dono is a very nice person."_

_That seemed to break whatever wall was between them, like magic, and the boy stared and stared. Then finally he said with determination, "I want to be a swordsman."_

_"Hahaha...If you come to the dojo with me, maybe you will become a great one." Kondo kept laughing and picked up a small branch from the ground, pointing to the pattern, "Hey, that's a Go-"_

"-rilla..."

He muttered the word without realizing it. The empty blue sky of Edo had a strange effect on his memory and when the image of both gorillas faded, Sougo laid his head back and rested his skull against the wood. Leaning against the wall, arms crossed and with no other sign of movement, he stared passively at the world before him.

"Shinsengumi! Let us in!"

It had been exactly three minutes and fifty-two seconds since his men were begging at the door. At the fourth, he walked slowly and quietly towards them. When he drew his katana, the door was shattered with a straight cut in the middle and all stared dumbfounded.

Okita took a step ahead, "...Shinsengumi...in."

He walked to the back room, smashed the door with a kick and before the ronin could jump out the window, he slid his sword and the man found himself face to face with the edge of his blade. The Captain threw him to the ground with a firm gesture and thrusted his heel into his jaw.

"Just spill already, I've got my re-runs waiting for me."

"I don't know anything."

Okita positioned his blade vertically and dropped it in front of the man's face, whose eyes were bulging, and it landed on the tatami just before his cheekbone.

"Don't...I don't know who...please...spare me..."

Okita pulled it out his from the ground with great indifference and redid the same gesture, but a few centimeters closer to the ronin, "I almost died...twice. Guess what? I'm immortal." The blade fell again, grazing the skin of his captive, and a trickle of blood ran down to the tatami.

The man was on the verge of fainting, "I...I don't know for sure, not Katsura's style..."

"You're not very smart, are you? Of course it's not Katsura." Sougo pressed harder against the neck with his foot, "Kiheitai?"

"Arghh...no...NO! Not Kiheitai."

"Amantos?"

"...Maybe...I don't..."

"Harusame? "

"No."

"Of course not." Sougo looked at his watch and sighed, deep in thought, "Mah, I'm late now...Shingeki no Kyojin's already started, I gotta go." And next he sheathed his sword, pulled out his earphones and headed to the destroyed front door but not without trampling the man's body on his way.

"EH!? What the...Hey...Wait...What kind of crappy interrogatory is that?"

"Taichou...he's right, what about the information?"

Okita glanced at the jouishishi, "Arrest him, I'm out."

"I've got the names…! They give the other rebels a bad reputation…We don't stand for that kind of stuff…If they do that in a crowded place, civilians will die!"

"Oiii…Spare your saliva for cleaning the slammer. I don't need names…But make sure to spread the word among you 'comrades' that none of you filthy trash bags will ever kill me. That's not happening in a million years."

"But Taichou…he knows who put a hit out on you!"

Okita took Kamiyama's katana from his hand and did what he always does when Kamiyama annoyed him. The man fell on the ground, his sword sheathed deep in his BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP...

_("SOU-KUN!" - "What?" - "THAT'S DISGUSTING!" - "It's efficient...now get the **** out of my face sh*tty writer" *KABOOOOOOM!*)_

He nudged his subordinate's feet lightly, "Spare your saliva for cleaning the crapper. We have a bacteria problem back home, remember?"

Yamazaki dared to came closer and whispered behind his hand, "Which episode today?"

He deadpanned, "The one where an ugly titan eats a lot of people."

"BAKUFU DOG!" The ronin left alone had suddenly called after him.

Hunting.

This occupied his mind during these last few weeks, a specific objective, a clear goal without the distraction of stupid thinking and weird sentimentality. Like the night when Danna didn't beat the crap out of him, when he didn't say anything. The night the Yorozuya had just stared at his scarf and embarked him in a yakuza bar to intoxicate his pain away until unconsciousness. The days that had followed were long and difficult, and it was Kondo-san himself who dropped the word  _rampage_. Because Okita wanted to hunt the men who tried to kill him down. Because Okita wanted to annihilate the men who were bushis only by name. Because Okita wanted to erase the last six months of his life from his mind.

"I don't want you to go on a rampage." Hijikata didn't say a word, quietly smoking next to their stoic Commander. "You're not in your usual state, Sougo. It's not a risk I want to take."

End of discussion. Kondo-san wouldn't budge, Okita had to follow orders. He knew it was for his sake, but this wasn't helping. Because the Commander couldn't understand. Because the Commander thought with the generosity of his soul.

 _'It takes time to heal a broken heart'_. Bullshit.  _I'm a killer_.

Of course the oni no Fukuchou didn't agree with it, he wanted the kamikaze punks gone too. "It's the same thing all over again...Sometimes 'rampage' is the only way." Hijikata dropped a file on Sougo's lap that late March evening. "You're not the real target, you know that? They need you or me out of the way. Kondo-san..." He sighed through smoke, "His kindness is-"

"His weakness." Sougo smirked, "So...green light?"

"Do it by yourself. No fuss."

Days and weeks had passed and now the cherry trees were blossoming while the remembrance of those strange, anguished days were fading too, the sweet ones before that too. Those winter days where he had felt more complete as a man.

Or so he tried to convinced himself.

"BAKUFU DOG!"

He froze. No one else had the right to call him like this.

_'Poop head...piece of trash...shitty tax robber...bastard sadist...'_

_'Gaki'_

_'Bakufu dog...'_

The dog approached slowly, hands in his pockets and he stared down at the outlaw, "I don't give a fuck about your information, dumbass..." Okita leaned, only for him to hear the next sentence. The crimson glare silenced the man for good.

"They're already dead."

He left the house with a bad tempered mood. For the first time in weeks, he ventured into Kabukicho. He had been out of sight and reach (at least concerning Sa-chan) from all the people he knew, apart from Tsukuyo because he had gleaned information from the slums of Yoshiwara and she surprisingly helped him. Hijikata hadn't been very subtle while scheduling his patrol shifts: away from the Yorozuya flat, the Shimura dojo and the Palace. It mattered very little to him because she was gone.

For all he knew, she left earth with the alien hunter a month ago.

And it was at this very instant, that he saw her.

She was right in front of him, across the street near the yakitori restaurant. He slipped behind a stall before she could see him. He thought about clearing off for sanity's sake as the contraction in his thorax was hurting. It took him completely by surprise and, without knowing it, he pressed a fist against his stomach and clutched his katana. Without warning, everything collapsed. Everything that he had achieved so far; his resolution, his focus, his duty.

He wanted to hear her voice again. Just one last time.

And he will never make fun of the Commander ever again, because after being a hunter, Okita Sougo became a stalker.

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

"I'm packing stuff for space, Oji-san…That better be solid."

"Why bring sukonbu in space? Don't you have exotic food over there?"

She picked her nose, and then dismissed the idea with a lazy wave of her hand, "Sukonbu's my life support and I ain't leaving without it."

A sweet breeze brushed her hair and she looked up to the rays of light struggling to pass through the clouds. She could smell the scent of the cherry flowers. And she could feel it, it was almost there to reach; her peace of mind.

_"Leave when you're at peace, when it's sunny, or else you're gonna hate that planet forever and you'll never come back again. Baka Baldi agrees. Mind you, that's a good riddance...but Patsuan will be sad..."_

_"Fine...but what are you gonna do after without Mommy to raise you and set your life straight?"_

_"I have my harem..."_

_"Pfft...Stupid Gin-"_

"Chan..."

"Miss?" She tilted her head, slowly coming back to reality, then her gaze fell on something colorful and bright on the top of her precious package. "Oi, miss…Is that all? Huh…? Who put that here?" The shopkeeper seized the object, ready to...

"Don't throw it!" Kagura grabbed his arm, her blue eyes flaming, "Give it to me." And he did without objecting.

She was going to leave without her fifty packs of sukonbu and without paying, but she was leaving with that crumbled red cocktail umbrella with a black mark in her hand...

And she was angry.

She tensed, scrutinized the marketplace and clenched her jaw.  _No way..._

She started walking back home, to the comfort of the Yorozuya flat where Anego was waiting to do her hair like a lady and Zura, who was waiting to play Uno. _No way...I didn't stay longer for that..._ But suddenly, she spun herself in the other direction and ran. The shopkeeper yelled after her, people made room for the cyclone because all of Kabukicho knew who she was for years. Kagura ran until she spotted the shitty tax robber uniform.

He was entering the public park.  _Her_  park.

When the bastard gaki turned around to look at her...he was smiling.

 


	20. The Wolf and the Dragon-Bird (But it's All About Dogs)

 

**Spring Stories, Part Two**

* * *

A public park has simple rules.

"MA-DA-O!"

And who, in his right mind, could blame a simple man with simple desires for wanting his favorite bench to be in its rightful place?

"…MADAO…RUN!"

That bench had been part of him for so many years, an extension of his legs like sunglasses were an extension of his eyesight. Hasegawa thought about the dark hole or wormhole while looking at the empty space in the park that his bench used to occupy just before he went buying tobacco five minutes ago. He was sure of that fact.

Aberration perhaps? Delusion mostly, because the ominous sounds coming around should have been a fair warning. That and the fact that he was alone, no kids laughing, no couples flirting, no bums napping. Dead. Alone.

An unidentified object, that might have been the said beloved bench, crashed into the nearby pond. But at the least he wasn't the target.

"TAX ROBBER SCUM'S TRYING TO ASSAULT YOU!"

He felt a breeze behind his back. A prelude. A sign. But MADAO only had the presence of mind to smile bitterly since nothing could alter what was coming...And he found it, the reason why his bench was gone: Cyclone. Plural.

BAAAAM!

"That was you, China. Ooh…He's in a coma."

"He's not! And don't talk to me ya piece of *** *** and *** with a ***"

"Now, now…Dirty talk in broad daylight…I might arrest you for that. Come here and embrace authority and handcuff-sama."

"GRRR…GYAAAAAAH!"

_("Psst…Psst…Hasegawa-san…Weather boy might be the perfect job for you!...Oi…Oiii!...WAKE UP!")_

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

The moment the young man met her gaze, full of challenge and warmth, she knew she couldn't get off this planet in 'peace'. And deep down within her soul, she knew that the words weren't meant to be taken literally. It was this ideal that she couldn't reach, probably because nobody could, especially not Gin-chan. She understood that he only wanted her to try. The result didn't matter, but leaving with lingering painful feelings was something she could and would try to erase.

It was with a shaky determination that she hurried on, soon finding herself in this place that accumulated so many memories. Her park,  _their_  park. When did she allow him to get this far into her territory in the first place? How? Why? Maybe it happened years ago on the day he mocked her fierce sense of misplaced ownership.

_"Dogs pee on the stuff they claim as their own. Just tell me which bench you didn't desecrate, I'll gladly leave the stinky ones to you."_

_"So you pee on your katana every day-aru?"_

_He shot her daggers, "No. Shinsengumi HQ, however…once a week is just fine. Thanks for asking."_

_"You're a filthy public servant, thief."_

_"And you're in a public park…Give up the ownership. Your only title is 'The Queen of the Almost Loitering Beggars.'"_

_"Poop-head! Shit-brain, tax robber…And why 'almost'?"_

_"You're a part-time Yorozuya, right? Not an actual bum." She stared at him, surprised. He went on thinking that maybe she had a comprehensive issue. "Wait…All this time…you actually believed I was serious about home shelter and jailing you?"_

_"Gaki, that's the first time you acknowledged my profession…Are you sick?"_

_It was one of nicest things he ever said to her. Well, since it came from a notorious sadist that he was, it obviously confused the hell of her, him too, because…_

_"Alright…I lied. Queen of Baka Beggars."_

_"SHIT-HEAD!"_

The memory of the day they didn't fight and only sat and traded insults came in a stupid, confused blur.

And the only thing she could blurt out as he peacefully walked towards the camphor tree was "It's  _MY_  PARK, SHIT-HEAD!"

He peeked over his shoulder without slowing down, "Still have problems with basic Japanese, China? It's public, as in 'for the use of the people.'"

She was closing the distance, but made sure they wouldn't be too close. It was her pride and a natural urge of self-preservation.

Idiocy was contagious. And he was the biggest idiot in the entire galaxy.

 

 

**_o-o-o_ **

Samurais are strong. Amantos are stronger. Yatos are  _the_  strongest.

He heard that a lot since joining the Shinsengumi.

She had shut down her Yato power and he didn't know if he felt miserable or upset about it.

It wasn't worth it and it felt like the second stupidest idea he ever had in his entire life. And trying to bring this idea into fruition by making things right again, somehow, with a fight like one of the millions they had over their five years together, felt like a waste of everything.

"What a pitiful display…Is that how you'll be fighting against the monstrous aliens?"

It was her turn to kneel down, catching her breath and at a loss on how to pursue this 'thing.' Her umbrella was useless by her side. "Shut yar trap, Bakufu dog!"

The irony wasn't lost to him, he wanted to hear that insult from her mouth because she was the only one who earned the right to and yet she spat the words in desperation. "Get up and make me then."

She casted her head down, staring at the ground in anger, in frustration, in whatever stupor that was holding her strength back. One minute. Two… For half a second, he thought of sheathing his sword and forcing her to get on her feet, but instead, he slowly approached and kicked her umbrella away with his boot.

If this won't do, he'll kneel too and throw his katana.

She shot him a dark, hurtful glare.

It did it. She fought without holding back. He did too.

And he lost.

And then she was on top of him, restraining his arms and legs. Disheveled, her bright hair fell on his chest and her jaw clenched. She was looking at his neck and soon, she let go of his arms. "Let me-" She slapped his hands away when he tried to block her, "-see!"

His cravat was already gone and her fingers were everywhere, from his nape to the collarbone, groping and seeking what wasn't there anymore. She tilted his head right and left, staring at every spot she might have caught with a frown between the eyebrows. But there was nothing. All the bruises were gone.

He laid his head back on the grass, closing his eyes because he couldn't stand it, because she wasn't able to hide the anxiety he saw in her, and inhaled deeply, "Hey…stop it…" Her small hand slid behind his neck again, and then quickly came back for a more hurried inspection. It felt wrong that the touch he missed so much was for this purpose. "There's nothing to see, Baka-girl…so get your hands off."

It was bordering on pathetic and there was nothing enjoyable about this. He took something out of his pocket and, as she wasn't paying attention, he put the red mask on her face, obstructing her vision. And finally, she gave up and sat back, without yelling or pulling it off.

And she was…

He absorbed the sight before him. Her white and azure dress was partly torn. She had scratches on her arms and bruises elsewhere. She had dirt on her face and tiny pearls of sweat on the temples.  _Dragon-bird…Whatever…Fucked-up, useless metaphor…_

He let out a sigh, "Aren't you a fool…Diaochan?"

…beautiful and crying.

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

Sometimes she had the park to herself when other kids were at school and the professional loiterers were asleep. It almost felt as if the whole city didn't exist and there were infinite landscapes and trees all around her, especially when she closed her eyes and was half asleep on the grass while the shade of her umbrella protected her fragile skin.

After the Yorozuya, it was her favorite place on earth. She met Soyo-chan here, Hisashi too, another boy that took her first kiss near the fountain.

And him, always him…He was always a part of the background, a silent disturbance…

She calmed down and they were sitting against the trunk on each side of the large tree. She kept that stupid mask on, only slightly pushed put. He didn't ask for it back and there was nothing misplaced about claiming that that awful trash was her's now.

She went first, not to hide or escape, but because it was where one could hear the wind brushing the leaves above. He didn't say a word. He just got up and sat there, watching something on the ground, his collar still undone. _Kicked puppy…Pathetic dog…_

_Lone wolf._

"You broke my heart, bastard."

"I did."

Kagura suddenly felt tired. Her shoulders slumped slightly. She had held back her power for far too long.

"My father's gonna train me…I can do it…I know I can…And when I come back, my umbrella will be purple again."

But Kagura didn't know how or how long it would take. She fell mute, trying not to think too much about the 'how long' part. Her Papi was waiting. Far, but not too far…She might just leave tomorrow.

She should.

His calm voice broke through, "I'm still listening…"

"My baka-nii…His umbrella has the same color. Purple…just like Mami's."

Kamui tainted the memory of that color. When she felt her strength overwhelm her, she feared that she would go down the same path and change to red until she was confident enough to find her balance again.

"You changed it back during the fall."

_He remembers…_

"I miss it, the color…and Mami too."

He said nothing else for a while and she was done with the explanation. The rest was her secrets, things she wouldn't even tell Gin-chan or Shinpachi. Rays of light dazzled her and she almost seek her umbrella for protection, but the sudden realization that this was the last time in a long time to come that she would see and sense the star made her change her mind. She ignored the tickle on her skin.

She wasn't like old Housen. She wasn't like Kamui…The sun was soft, clouded ever so slightly.

She won't burn.

"Oi, China…"

She was startled and quickly looked in the direction of the voice. Sougo didn't move, but he was leaning on her side. His face relaxed and she wondered how long he was staring at her.

"Are you gonna ride one of those space horses?"

Her eyes widened in surprise, "I'm gonna enter the race, yes."

"You better win then, or else you'll end up becoming the shame of your family."

She understood what he was doing and really, no matter how much a selfish jerk he was most of the time, she couldn't convince herself to hate that part.

And she was so tired. Drained, but relieved too. And she didn't care if her heart would start aching again tomorrow. She crawled to him, harshly pushed one of his legs on the grass and rested her head on his thigh, facing the ruined park, the tiny clouds and the clear sky.

She felt the tip of his fingers tracing the corner of her right eye, and then down her cheek, which was covered in dirt. Her face probably wore the traces of her tears.

"I don't get why-" He sounded absent, "No, that's not true, I do get why you'd flip your shit over killing someone. And I know for a fact that I'll never be like you. I've killed many people and I won't bother counting the dead bodies I left behind…But…I don't get why you'll cling to someone like me, because-"

"Sure, you can't possibly get it. Your brain's too baka for that…" She rolled slightly to stare at him. He looked sincerely lost. "My brother killed more than you could count in a lifetime…and I still care about him. This is my life. I'm not afraid of what you are."

"Fair point."

"Your arguments are pathetic…and I'm the stupidest of the stupidest to even try…"

His confidence kicked in again and he just smirked, "That's because you're in love."

"I'm in love and hate you."

"Well…I'm in hate and lo-" He caught himself at the last second, "Like hell I'm gonna end that sentence."

 _Bastard_. She mumbled few more insults, raised herself and took his cravat and pointed at the mask on her forehead, "These are mine and it's my park, even when I'm gone! Does that register or do you need a draw?"

His eyes shined with amusement, "If you pee on them, I'm gonna slice you open from here-" Out of nowhere, his hand slid under her knee and he enlaced her waist, "-to here." Then he carefully pushed her long hair away and kissed the side of her nape.

_This shouldn't feel right._

"Were you thinking about it too?" She embraced him and felt his smile form against her skin.  _This shouldn't feel so right…_

He rested his chin on her thin shoulder, "Peeing?"

She hit the back of his uniform, "NO! You baka gaki! That conversation…about dogs and stuff..."

"Yes, I remember."

"Why?"

"It's the only time we didn't fight, right?"

"Why didn't we?"

He shrugged, "Go figure…" He held her by the shoulders and pulled her back so they could face each other again, "Next time we see each other, we should try."

She smirked, "Peeing?"

"You're disgusting."

"You stared it!"

"You're still disgusting."

She slapped him and it wasn't too harsh or too soft and a quick twinkle passed in those red eyes...Well, she saw it. And... _Impossible_ …

"You like it…"

He blinked, "What?"

She gasped before a smug feeling invaded her, "Mwahaha…I knew it! You're a masochist."

After a few seconds, the time necessary for the 'revelation' to sink in, this little experience at psychology earned her a nasty glare and a nastier smirk, "You're one gutsy, ugly freak to dare say something like that."

She persisted, crossing her arms in plain, sick contempt, "I know I'm right."

"Who cares? And you're wrong."

"Pfft…No, I'm right. And you look like you car-"

He shut her mouth with a kiss.

 _What took you so long, baka gaki?_  But she didn't want to think anymore, not for a lifetime. At least they seemed to have reached the same conclusion; they had been thorough bakas for wasting the little time they had left.

 

 

_**o-o-o** _

She was sleeping soundly and drooling on his uniform.

 _Disgusting_.

And he had to do something about that knee obsession of his...and the vermilion hair fixation...and that skin. No, that was off limits.

Apparently she hadn't slept well since the last time they met, but if his uniform and his lap could help her, then the drooling wasn't so bad.

That wasn't at all.

What was bad, tremendously bad, was how he was ready to do it: The third most stupid mistake in his entire life and it was against that bullshit aka better judgment…and sanity…and…he couldn't give a damn even if he tried, which he didn't, because no one was here to stop him.

The clouds were slowly dispersing and the sun started to burn his skin. He glanced at her umbrella and then thought better of it. He lifted his hand above her...

 

 

**_o-o-o_ **

At least she wouldn't have blisters on her face while going home.

And the ones on her arms were fading when everybody stared in shock at her dress, her new white scarf and her awful red mask.

They were almost gone when Anego did her hair with misty eyes and were completely gone when Zura lost at Uno and Gin-chan was pretending to be asleep.

"Kagura-chan?" She turned her gaze to a smiling, yet a bit melancholic Shinpachi, "You look beautiful."

She grinned, "Of course I am, Pachi-boy."

And Shinpachi didn't want to ruin her mood, she would find out soon enough anyway, by telling her the white scarf around her neck (that looked suspiciously like a Shinsengumi cravat) had something written on it.

_'Bakufu Dog's Pet'_

_'Do not touch'_

_She bites'_


End file.
